Boarding School
by PrincessNeens
Summary: Forced to go to Boarding School Elena meets the popular Damon. Will he be able to help her and discover what's behind her walls? And will Elena be able to fully trust him and tell him the truth of why she had been forced to go there? AU/AH Delena ;D
1. Chapter 1- Young and Beautiful

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_So as promised the first chapter of Boarding School. As I said I had this idea a long time ago and have already written about 15 chapters, which I have to translate first._

**Oh that grace, oh that body  
Oh that face makes me wanna party  
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds**

**-Lana DelRey Young and Beautiful  
**

16/11/2012, 10:34pm, Damon's party

I was sitting in the closet. In the damn middle of a closet and I was crying. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not see anyone. What would they think of me. The beautiful, popular, new slut, who's sleeping with everyone and every teacher likes, is bursting into tears, because someone said something about her parents. No, I didn't need that at all at the moment. And that's exactly the reason why I was sitting it that damn closet at the moment. A closet in a bedroom I didn't know in a house I've never been before. Yeah being the new girl was hard sometimes, but if you look at the perks it also could be the best thing in the world.

But in this moment the worst thing possible happened. Or maybe the best. Depends on how you're looking at it. The door of the closet opened. Or better was opened by someone and then this tall guy was standing directly in front of me. A guy I remembered seeing before.

"What are you doing in my room? Get out! You're not even supposed to be here", he was screaming at me. But despite him screaming his voice was somehow calming me down. Nevertheless I was standing up, fixed my clothes and was ready to leave.

"Shit you're crying. Please say you aren't only because I screamed at you? If it's so I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Shit, what am I supposed to do now?" He looked at me with panic in his eyes.

"I'm not crying because of you. I had already done that before you came in. But it's fine now. I'm heading downstairs again."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

What was that about? One moment he's screaming at me and the next one he's flirting? I didn't get it.

"And why not?"

Hah I was a specialist in flirting. So why shouldn't I play along a bit. He smiled at me. A beautiful smile. I was nearly melting at his smile, but I had to stay focused. That was rule number one: Don't let yourself get distracted.

"So tell me, why would I better not go downstairs?"

I was putting on my famous flirtsmile. The one no guy could resist.

"If you go downstairs like this, everyone will laugh at you."

WHAT? Now I really was confused. He clearly didn't want to flirt, but did he have to be that cruel?

I was just going to ask him why everyone would laugh. But like he could read my mind he turned me around, so that I was now facing a large mirror.

Now I also knew why he was smiling the whole time. He was trying not to laugh at me.

I looked terrible. My mascara was all over my face in two big stripes. And in that moment I was horrified. He'd seen me like that. He'd nearly laughed at me because of that.

And then I started to cry again.

„Shit, not again. It doesn't really look that bad."

A miserable try to cheer me up. But also somehow cute. I could even get me to smile for him. Not my typical flirtsmile, but a smile.

"There isn't the chance you have makeup remover here, is there?", I asked him, mainly as a joke.

"Seriously, no, but maybe in my parents bathroom. I can look there for you, if you want?" How sweet was he?

"If you don't mind, please", I told him.

"It really isn't a problem. Just stay there and I'll be back in a second."

And so he left the room. And For the first time I was able to think about who he was. Okay, this was his bedroom, so probably also his party. But it was a victory party for the basketballteam, so he could still be anyone. But I somehow knew him. He liked basketball, otherwise he wouldn't organize a party for the team and... Shit, now I knew who he was. Damon Salvator. The Damon Salvator. Captain of the most successful team in history of our school and also the youngest player who's ever been part of the team.

And yeah, he was in my literature class.

And he was just coming back into the room.

"I think that's what you wanted", he told me and gave me the remover. I started to clean up my face and fixed my makeup. Then I looked at him and tried to smile again.

"Ehm Damon", I stuttered,"I know I don't really know you, but could you please not tell anyone about what happened in here? Please!"

"Okay, promised. But Elena?"

Wow he knew m name. Not only that he knew my name. I was used to people knowing my name. No I was impressed about how he'd said it, not with that despising voice, everyone else used. His voice was calming and lovely.

I looked directly into his piercing blue eyes. "Yes?"

"Next time, if you have a problem, don't hide in a closet! Talk to someone. That might help you."

I nodded, got up and went downstairs, trying not to think about his last comment.

Back downstairs I put up my usual mask and was back in my normal game.

15/6/2012 1:20pm, My room

"Elena, get out of your room! You need to eat something. Please."

That's what I've heard for days now.

Couldn't they understand that I didn't want to leave my room, that I didn't want to see anyone?

Not talk to anyone. Yeah, that's why I didn't leave my room for the last five days and didn't eat anything. I just didn't want to.

"Elena, please open that door. I just want to bring you something to eat. I promised I'll leave you alone after that. But you have to eat something. Please!"

That was the voice of my cousin. The only voice that tried to comfort me over the last few days.

Not like all the other, who just told me how unresponsible I was by not eating anything for days.

"Elena", he pleaded.

And for the first time in five days I opened the door to my room. He seemed confused. But how should he have known that I would open the door this time?

Despite that fact he still had a big plate with tons of food in his hands. It smelled delicious. I took it and went back into my room. I left the door open and so Matt followed me in.

"How are you?"

"Fine", I lied and finished the conversation with that.

18/11/2012, 12:53pm, Literature class

"Okay, so until next week you will team up in pairs of two. In this pairs you'll be doing your trimester project. You can form the groups by yourself, but I don't want the same groups as last year."

Yeah, last year.. I haven't been here last year so that won't be a problem for me. But there's still the question, which one of the basketballplayers I should team up with? Mhh let's just wait who'll ask.

I looked at the clock. Seven more minutes.

Seven more minutes until the class was finished.

Seven more minutes until they would run to me and ask me.

Seven more minutes of being nervous.

For me. But that I couldn't let the others see. That would be the worst thing to happen. What happened two days ago was bad enough. I couldn't let that repeat. That was my goal. My goal for the rest of my life.

Seven minutes later.

"Hey Elena"

"Elena!"

"Do you already have a partner?"

They were standing all around me. Somehow sweet. But somehow also disgusting, if you think about what they really wanted from me. But today I wasn't in the right mood for that. No, I didn't want to be used today. No not at all.

"Do you know what?", I told them, "I think this time I'll choose my partner myself!"

And with that I left the classroom and headed to the cafeteria. Like I said I wasn't in the mood. I only wanted one thing. The only thing that always helped.

I put on my flirtsmile, went to the counter to get my capppuccino and sat on the nap of some guy. Later I learned that his name was Trevor. But that didn't really matter for me.

"Hey Sexy!"

"Hey!"

Two minutes later we were making out and he pulled me to his room.

_Okay so that was the first chapter ;D_

_I know that that kind of writing style might be confusing at the beginning but I promised you'll get used to it and it will be worth it._

_So Delena's first meeting right at the beginning of the story. And I promise there's a lot more to come._

_I try to upload the next chapter tonight, but I'm not sure if I'm able to._

_There won't be any other updates until Thursday (only maybe the one today) because I'm visiting la ville d'amour. But after that I try to upload as much as possible._

_Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. So R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	2. Chapter 2- Everything has changed

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Okay so here's the update. I really made it. I'm so happy._

**All I know is we said hello  
So dust off your highest hopes  
All I know is pouring rain  
And everything has changed  
All I know is a new found grace  
All my days, i'll know your face  
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed **

**-Taylor Swift feat. Ed Sheeran Everything has changed**

10/06/2012, 11.22am, gym

"Elena get here!"

"But I have to go now."

"You told me, you would have to go the moment your parents are here. And I can't see them so get on that damn court!"

"Okay, Jules."

It was stupid of me to believe, that they would be here in time just once.

But I loved the game, so I didn't think about it anymore, which was the worst idea I've ever had, how I realized later.

So I played and I had fun. A lot of fun. Together with Bonnie I probably had the best game ever. I dribbled, passed the ball and scored. Nothing could stop me in that moment. But then I was thrown back into reality. My phone was ringing. Yeah brilliant. That's just what I needed right now. I was in such a good mood I couldn't handle my Mom right now. She would just tell me how sorry she was, but they wouldn't make it to pick me up and I would just have to take the bus.

But despite that, I told Jessica to replace me on the court and took my phone.

When I looked at the display I was confused. It wasn't my Mom, who was calling, it was my aunt.

Weird, I couldn't remember the last time she had called me. Why now?

But I picked up.

I can't remember what happened next. Or better, I don't want to remember.

The next thing I know, is that I picked up my stuff, changed into normal clothes and left the gym.

I ignored Jules, who was coming after me and ask why I had to leave to suddenly.

I ignored how Bonnie looked at me with concern in her eyes.

I ignored everyone and everything while I waited outside the gym.

I waited for my aunt to pick me up.

But Jules didn't want me to leave without answers. She followed me outside the gym.

"Elena what happened? We're winning big time and you're playing the game of your life-"

"It's not the game of my life. I hate it. I HATE IT! I'm never gonna play again. You can believe me that. Nothing will get me back on that court.", I screamed at her. She looked at me confused, but I didn't care. In that moment I saw the car of my aunt. She got out, picked up my bag, looked apologizing at Jules and got in the car next to me.

And then I drove away.

Away from Jules.

Away from the gym.

Away from my friends.

Away from my life.

18/11/2012, 1:53pm, Trevor's room

"Let go of me!"

"Come on sexy, I know you want it, too. Or do you want to be a stubborn little girl today? No, not with me. You fucked the entire school but not me or what? But do you know what?

There are bets. Terrible bets. Who's the next one? How many will there be this week? Or my favorites: When will she get pregnant or get a disease?"

I looked at him horrified, That couldn't be true. Bets? It was already that bad?

If they all just knew the truth. They wouldn't laugh at me anymore.

And Trevor, he just didn't know better.

So I just said: "You've probably bet that you are the next, haven't you? Just tell them we did it, okay? Tell them whatever the fuck you want. I don't care. Just leave me alone!"

I didn't want to let him see my tears. I fixed the buttons of my shirt, tried to safe the rest of my dignity and left.

Luckily I had a free period now. I would need it. I was just around the corner when I started to cry. And not just silent tears. I started to sob. And so I started to run. I just wanted to get back to my room.

Shit, I didn't know Caroline's schedule by heart. Hopefully she would have classes and wouldn't be in our room. I really needed it for myself right now.

But in just in the moment I went around the last corner I bumped into someone.

I just ignored the person, like I ignored a lot of things lately, and went on, trying to hide my tearcovered face. But then I heard shouts.

"Elena, wait!"

I didn't stop walking, not until I was in my room and sitting on the floor of my closet. There I broke down in sobs.

And I lost again.

I wasn't able to make the only goal I had in my life.

And then suddenly the door opened. Again. And I saw him. Again.

Couldn't he let me drown in my misery?

"Elena?"

"What do you want Damon? Damn. How did you get in my room?"

He didn't answer my questions. He just hold out his hand for me.

But I was stubborn. I didn't want his help. I didn't need it.

I could just deal fine with it. Alone. Why couldn't he just leave?

Leave, like everyone always did.

"Come on Elena! It's just a hand. I don't want to donate you my kidney or anything", he said and smiled and me.

Again this beautiful, breathtaking smile. But this time he meant it. He wasn't just suppressing his laughter.

I smiled back with a week halfsmile, but also took his hand and let him help me to get up.

"Okay, so now, what do you want from me?", I asked him again.

''Do you remember what I told you last time?''

Yes, I did. Every word. But why was he asking me that now?

Maybe my mascara was all over my face. Again.

But why should he follow me into my room then? I would probably fix it in here.

He recognized my confused face and understood that I didn't have a clue what he wanted to tell me with that. So he said:

''I told you, you should talk about it with someone.''

Ahhh he meant that. But now I was confused again. Did he mean I should talk to HIM about it? Or-

He cut off my thoughts. Again.

''I meant you could talk to me about it, if you want.''

Okay, so he did really mean it like that. But I couldn't tell.

Not after everything I went through to get what I have now.

Or could I tell him? What did I think. I couldn't. I put that thought back into my mind. Hopefully it wouldn't come out again.

''Thank you. But I'm fine again. Really. And there also isn't really something to talk about. I'm just having a bad week. But thank you for the offer.''

He was so sweet to me. And he was the first one, who really wanted to talk to me.

I don't know what I was thinking at that moment, but I finally asked.

''Do you already have a project partner for literature? If not, I don't have one either and I would like to be yours.''

Okay. What did I say. He would totally say no. I just sounded like a little girl, who was madly in love with him. Which I clearly wasn't.

"Yeah. Okay. I don't have one. And I would really like to work with you. But I have one condition.''

He had conditions. I looked at him curiously. What did he want?

Please don't say he wants the same like all the others and-

''You have to tell that to your lovers.''

And he smiled at me again. His blue eyes full of honesty and happiness.

And I couldn't believe my luck.

''Yeah. But that could also turn out to be your problem, if they want to punch you for it'', I joked with him.

''Okay. You can tell them, that I'm already shaking of fear.''

In that moment he saw the clock behind me.

''Shit. Is this clock working correctly?'' The sudden tension in his voice was unmistakably.

''Yes, why?''

''Because I don't have break now and the lesson started ten minutes ago.''

Oh. I hadn't thought about that. But luckily it was my lunch break now.

What class he might have now?

Just in the moment I wanted to asked him he stood up and walked to the door.

''Ciao Elena. I see you in literature.''

And with that he left.

_What do you think so far? Please let me know._

_Like I said I'm gonna be on vacation until Monday night. So no more uploads for four days ;(_

_I hope I can upload the new chapter early on Thursday but I can't promise._

_A lot of you followed the story. Thank you for that._

_And also Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. So R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	3. Chapter 3- Life's for the Living

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Surprise! One more chapter today._

_Yeah I'm just that good. Haha I'm only kidding. I just had more time then I thought today. So just enjoy it :D_

**Don't you cry for the lost  
Smile for the living  
Get what you need and give what you're given  
Life's for the living so live it  
Or you're better of dead**

_**-**_**Passenger Life's for the Living**

07/06/2012, 1:43pm, kitchen

'' How was school today? ''

'' Just fine. We're gonna write a test in chemicals on Friday, but the rest was really fine. ''

My Mom looked at me angrily. Only because I complained about tests, she always looked at me like that. But I was used to that, so it didn't matter anymore.

'' And what about you, Jer. Everything fine?''

'' Yes. Perfect as always.''

Yes, that was typically my little brother. But little may be a bit wrong. He was about 6'0" tall. But that wasn't the point at the moment.

'' So Mom, there's this game on Saturday and I wanted to ask if I could go?''

I looked at her with my best imitation of big, deer eyes. Maybe she would allow it then.

Okay normally I could go to every game I wanted, but this weekend we wanted to make a family trip, which would probably turn out to be boring as hell, but what did I care.

'' Elena, you know you don't have time!''

'' But Mommy. The game is at 11 am and the trip only starts at 12:15 pm. If you pick me up, I could play until halftime break, shower and then we would still be in time, wouldn't we?''

'' Let's see. The game starts at 11 am? I'll talk about it with your dad, okay?''

'' Okay. Thank you Mom.''

In that moment the phone started to ring. I hurried to pick it up. If it was the call I waited for, I didn't want my Mom or brother to pick it up.

'' Hello?''

'' Hey Elena, it's me, Bonnie. I just wanted to ask you if you're going to play on Saturday?''

'' Hi Bonnie. I don't know yet. I just talked about it with my Mom and she told me she had to think about it. But I think she will give in.''

'' And did Kol already call you?''

Ahh that's why she called, to talk about my love life. But she was my best friend. So she was allowed to talk about it.

'' No he didn't. But he should call any moment. Ciao, see you tomorrow.''

'' Ciao sweetie. And good luck with Kol.''

And five minutes later he really called and we scheduled a date for Sunday evening.

18/11/2012, 6:42pm, gym (at the boarding school)

'' Hey Elena, you're actually punctual once.''

Caroline walked to me with a bright smile on her face and hugged me.

'' I heard about what happened in literature. They fought about being your partner, seriously? Did you at least choose one? And where have you been for lunch break. Trevor told everyone you'd been in his room with him and you had sex. Please tell me he's lying. I mean, seriously, Trevor? You could get everyone and you chose him? Ahh and did you hear about Lexi. She supposedly broke up with Lee, because he made out with Andie'', she was bubbling.

Wow, she could talk that much and that fast, that sometimes you couldn't even follow everything she was saying.

'' Hey Care. Slow down. Breathe in. About my project partner, I already have one, but I asked him and not the other way. And about Trevor. Yes, we've been in his room, but no I didn't sleep with him.

And that about Lexi isn't relevant anymore. They're back together, because Lee told her she's his epic love.''

'' And how do you know that? Who's your partner? And you always tell me you didn't sleep with anyone. Nobody believes that anymore.''

I just wanted to protest and tell her the name of my partner, when Rebekkah, our captain, came into the gym.

'' Okay girls. There's a big game on Saturday. I want us to be in perfect shape for that. So in position and let's go!''

So that was the end of our conversation and the start of practice.

I loved it. I was a second Brooke, like Rebekkah used to say.

For a short moment I forgot everything around me and was one with the moves.

Practice always made me forget all the bad things in my life.

The sadness. The bad memories. Everything was gone for the moment.

I wished it would be like that all the time.

But after one hour and fifteen minutes practice was over. And I remembered everything again.

And then I saw him. He was standing in the doorway.

The moment he saw me he smiled.

I wanted to go to him and talk to him but then Stefan was next to him, tipped him on the shoulder and they went to the locker rooms together.

Yeah right. After cheerleading there was basketball practice. How could I have forgotten that?

Caroline just gathered her stuff as I went next to her to pick up my bag.

'' Okay spill the beans. What was that with Damon. You nearly ate him with your looks. Is there something between you?'', Caroline asked me like the Gossip Girl she was.

'' There isn't anything going on between us. He's just my literature partner. Not more'', I answered her.

'' Yeah, believe what you want. I know what I've seen.''

And with that she went back to our room.

12/06/2012, 11:48am, my room

I looked at my phone.

23 new messages. Who wanted to contact me that urgently?

The first three messages were from Jules. She wanted to know, if I was fine, why I was in such a hurry to leave and if I really meant it like that.

I deleted all of them.

The next one was from Bonnie, but she asked almost the same as Jules.

No interesting messages at all. Despite one. One message was from Kol:

_Elena, where R U? Maybe you forgot it, but we had a DATE. So if you decide that I'm worth your time and you might want to show up, forget about it. I'm done. I really liked you, but not anymore. It's over. So forget about me!_

_Kol_

Ohh. The date with Elijah. I totally forgot about that. But why care, I wouldn't have shown up either way. There I would have to talk. And what should I talk about. I would have had to be happy. And that I couldn't be at the moment.

Not after what had happened.

My phone vibrated and I got a new message.

Again from Bonnie. She was writing me the whole day.

_Elena, where R U?_

_Elena, R U fine?_

_Elena, why aren't you in school?_

_Elena, what happened?_

_Elena, call me!_

Okay the next one was interesting.

_Elena, what's wrong with you? I just talked to Kol and he told me, you didn't show up yesterday and you didn't even call him. Why Elena? You're talking about him for ages. You told me how much you liked him and when you actually have a date with him you don't show up. What the hell is your problem. If you decide to talk to anyone again, call me. Xoxo Bonnie_

Really interesting. Kol went immediately to my best friend to tell her about it.

Brilliant, now I was mad again. Mad at Kol. How could he? And why? Why? Why did they leave me? Why did they leave me back all alone? How could they do that to me?

I wasn't thinking about Kol anymore. Obviously this was about something else. Something more.

19/11/2012, 12:34pm, literature class

'' Hey Elena.''

'' Hey Damon. How are you?''

I sat next to him. The sitting order didn't matter anymore.

For the work on the project, Mr.. Tanner told us, there weren't normal lessons anymore.

We didn't even have to show up in class anymore. We could also work on our projects in the evening if we wanted.

But today we would get our topic.

'' So now you pick one paper per team. On that piece of paper is one word. You're supposed to write about what this word means. You can look it up in the internet, ask your classmates or whatever. But at the end you should have about ten pages about your term. You're in pairs of two, because everyone will probably connect your topic with something different. The partner should prevent you from just writing about that aspects of your word.''

Aha. Very interesting task. Define a word. That couldn't be that hard.

Mr.. Tanner came to me and Damon and let us pick a word.

_Pain_

Only one word. That word. I already knew enough about it. But that I didn't want to tell anyone. Not even Damon.

But how should I make this project work, if I couldn't talk about my own experiences.

A tear was streaming down my cheek. One single tear.

I quickly wiped it away.

Damon hadn't seen it. I hoped.

'' Should we meet at 6:30 pm at my house.''

Damon brought my thoughts back to reality. Again.

'' I have practice at 6:45 pm. So maybe a bit earlier? What about 5:30 pm?''

'' Yeah okay. 5:30 pm is fine.''

And so he left.

And I was deep back in my thoughts.

_So that comment about Brooke, it's from One Tree Hill. I love that show soo deal with the hints. So now I really won't upload anymore until Thursday/Wednesday. So have a beautiful weekend. Thank you for the follows and favorites. And also Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them. So R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	4. Chapter 4- Under

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_I'm back ;D Paris was great,, but I really missed writing so I'm glad I can do it again._

_So here's chapter 4._

**Don't leave me alone with me_  
_See, I'm afraid_  
_Of the darkness_  
_And my demons_  
_And the voices_  
_Saying nothing's gonna be OK**

_**-**_**Alex Hepburn Under**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
17/06/2012, 2:23am, bathroom

This pain. This endless pain.

I just wanted it to stop. Just didn't want to feel it anymore.

Feel anymore.

But nothing made it better. Nothing at all.

It didn't get better.

So I took a painkiller.

But it still didn't get better.

So I took another one.

And another one.

And another one.

And at some point the box was empty.

And I blacked out.

I felt the ground under my cheek.

And then I didn't feel anything at all. Finally.

The pain was gone. Everything was gone.

I heard someone call my name, but it was too far away.

And even if I tried to find the origin of the voice, I would then have to feel the pain again.

After a short time the voice was gone again.

And everything went black again.

And every feeling was gone again.

But just for a short time.

And then one feeling came back.

Fear.

I didn't want this. I didn't want to die.

I still had friends. I still had family.

I really didn't want this. So I started to fight.

I fought against the darkness.

And when I felt pain again, I knew I had won.

I was alive. And then I also heard the voice again.

19/11/2012, 5:29pm, Damon's house

Wow. In the light the house seemed even bigger.

The door got opened.

'' Hey Elena! Come in!''

I got in and followed him into the living room. First I saw the large piano. It nearly took in a quarter of the room. And the room was really large.

And the I saw the glassdoor. Or better what was at the other side of the door.

A huge pool.

What I would give for to swim in there right now.

I turned around a saw that Damon was watching me.

'' You've been here before, haven't you?'', he was joking with me.

'' Yeah I was. But in the darkness I hadn't seen the pool last time. Or the piano.''

'' Do you play?'' He looked at me curious.

'' A bit. But not that well. I've never really had the time to learn it properly.''

'' You didn't? What did you do that took all your time?

He smiled at me. I was sure, he only did it so I would tell him the truth.

But I was a perfect liar.

But when I wanted to answer him, I had an other idea.

Why should I lie to him with this?

It didn't matter if he knew it or not.

'' I had practice. Or games. But mostly practice.''

Okay. I was a bit surprised by my answer. I wasn't that honest in a long time.

'' Which kind of sport? Or has it always been cheerleading?''

'' No. I only started cheerleading when I came here. I used to play basketball.''

Again, I was totally surprised by my honesty.

'' Mhh. You and basketball. It's hard to imagine that. You're not taller than 5'7", are you?''

He smiled. Irresistibly and long.

'' Size isn't everything. I was really good.''

And now I smiled at him. With a really bright smile.

I didn't plan on doing that. But it was an honest smile, which I hadn't done in a long time. Because I haven't had much fun lately.

'' Okay so I only believe that if I see it. But even if you were good, why did you stop then? You could play here, too.''

Shit. I either had to lie or tell him the whole truth. Stop. What was I thinking. I had to lie.

'' I don't really know. It was just somehow over. I didn't go to practice anymore, ignored my coaches and just quit.''

He looked at me with a weird expression on his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking about. But I really wanted to know why he looked at me like this.

But then he changed the subject.

'' So I think we should start working on our project. Do you already have any ideas?''

'' Yes. I would say we start by looking up the definition in different encyclopedias and the internet. Then we can ask a few people and sum up what we got. At the end we put our own opinion in and then we're finished.''

Puh. Change of subject. Yeah I really needed it. Otherwise I would have told him more. And I wasn't ready for that.

And I also could hopefully have put off my own opinion as long as possible. Until then I had time to come up with something. I needed to.

We worked for another hour and then I went back to the school.

17/06/2012, 2:17pm, hospital

'' Where am I?''

The darkness was finally gone and I was lying in a room I've never seen before. Everything was white and somber. Hopeless.

'' Oh my gosh. You're awake. I'm so glad.''

That was my cousin. Why did he sound so concerned? And damn it, where the hell was I?

I looked around again. At the wall there was a TV. Nothing unusual.

But, weirdly, the bed had wheels.

Oh, now I got it. I finally knew where I was. In a hospital.

And then I remembered why and how I got here.

After I had fought against the darkness my cousin tried to keep me awake. After some time, which felt like hours, the ambulance came and brought me to the hospital.

'' Elena, why did you do that?''

He always asks directly. That was who he was. And that was what I liked about him.

'' I don't know, Matt. I don't know.''

And then I broke down. I broke down in tears. Badly. I was sobbing and my whole body was shaking.

It was the first time I cried at all after the accident.

After a while I managed to calm down and my aunt came in.

'' Elena, I think you should talk to someone. And if not with us, then at least with a psychologist.''

'' Okay.''

Just one word. I didn't say more. Only that one word.

But I really meant it. I was really serious.

I couldn't do it anymore, not like it was before. I needed to change something. And I believed that was what I needed.

23/11/2012, 5:15pm, my room

Damn was it hot today. 95 degree Fahrenheit and that at the end of November.

Nobody should have to live with that.

I was just packing my stuff to go to Damon's to work on our literature project. I was there every day for the last four days and I also hung out with him and his friends, including Caroline and Rebekah, at lunch.

When I was just about to leave my room my phone rang. I needed an eternity to find it in my purse.

'' Hello?''

'' Hey Elena, here's Damon.''

'' Hey Damon. How are you?''

'' Fine and you?''

'' Also. I'm just on my way to you.''

'' Are you already far?'' No, was he doing what I thought he was doing? Did he really want to cancel? Us working together was what brought me through the day. That and of course cheerleading.

'' I just went out the door. Why?''

I didn't want him to cancel. I should have just pretended to be nearly at his house... shit.

'' I was just thinking that it's way to hot to work today.''

NO. He really wanted to cancel. But before I could think more he continued.

'' So what do you say about abandoning our project for the day and going swimming instead? I mean, how often can I use my pool in November?''

What? He didn't want to cancel? My mood lightened in a second. And swimming was just what I needed now.

'' Sounds awesome and I think we could also need a break of working. So I'm just gonna change and then head to your house, okay?''

'' Okay. See you soon. Ciao Elena.''

'' Ciao Damon.''

_So that was chapter 4. I know it's not that long. I just wanted to upload as soon as possible so you don't have to wait too long._

_Someone asked why Jenna called Elena?_

_That's what I wanted with that kind of writing style. I wanted not to tell you everything immediately._

_But I think, they're a lot of hints in the story. And I promise if you don't know what happened after this chapter, you will definitely know it after the next._

_It's amzing how many of you actually like my story. I've never thought of that._

_Special thanks again to Emogirl506 she's my first reader ever and always reviews so thank you for that ;D_

_Alo a thank you to all the other who read, review, follow amd favorite._

_You all make my day :D_

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	5. Chapter 5 - So Cold

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_So chapter 5 ;D. You might know some parts (Actually only one..) if you know what I mean. I only have one hint: Sneek Peak!_

**Oh,you can hear me cry  
See my dreams all die  
From where you're standing  
On your own.  
It's so quiet here  
And I feel so cold  
This house no longer  
Feels like home.**

**-Ben Cooks So Cold**

01/07/2012, 4:30pm, living room

I put my bike in our driveway and recognized something weird. There was already a bike. The bike of my aunt. What was she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be at work?

I unlocked the front door, put my shoes into the closet and walked into the living room.

And there they were sitting. My aunt and my cousin. The people, who fought for so long about what was the right thing to do for and about me and they were sitting there completely calmly and in harmony.

'' So Elena, how was school today?''

So that's was what this was all about. School. I only was back from the hospital for one week but they all expected me to go straight back to school. Okay, so my psychologist said it would be the best and that I should try to get used to my normal life again. And they listened. But what was normal about my life. I lived together with my 23 years old cousin in a big house that somehow belonged to me. He and my aunt decided everything for me. So my life wasn't quite normal.

But I had to go back to school. That's what I wanted. Or what should that all have been worth if I didn't at least try to do things, normal 16 years-old do.

'' So we talked to Dr. Fell.''

What they talked to Dr. Fell. If you asked me I would say she was always high on something, which would be easy for her because she can prescribe it herself. Besides being high, she also was my psychologist, who always had the weirdest ideas. So what did she recommend them this time? Planting some flowers to channel energy? Some new super drugs, which fixed everything, from depression to a cold?

I didn't want to test anything new again. I was done with that. And so I couldn't sit still on my chair anymore and moved around nervously.

'' She told us she's worried about you. She thinks you aren't improving much and-''

'' I am improving! What the hell is she telling you? That I'm still suicidal, because I don't want to talk to Chester, the totally unfunny teddybear? Or if I refused to impress my feelings by forming something with plasticine. Or because-''

'' Elena shut up and calm down!''

My cousin looked at me strictly. Okay, maybe the last few words were a bit too loud. Even louder as planned, but despite that I just couldn't like Dr. Fell.

'' So Dr. Fell meant'', Matt started to speak again, '' that you're isolating yourself too much. You're not playing basketball anymore. You don't meet your friends. You're literally just leaving the house to go to school or to Dr. Fell. And then you're not leaving it voluntarily.''

So basketball was not an option for me. And I would hang out with friends, if I still had any. I only had Bonnie. But she didn't have time for me.

Jenna looked at me concerned.

'' So she told us, that it might be a good idea to change the scenery. And before you stop me here and say no, just let me finish first please.

Matt can't leave, because of college. That would be too difficult. I can't leave because of your cousin. It wouldn't be fair to her or Alaric. So we thought about sending you to your great aunt Esther in Scotland.''

Great aunt Esther, seriously. She owns about 500 goats, doesn't have a TV, no internet and lives in a village with an average age of 75 years. I would really rather die than go there. I was just about to say something when Matt started to speak.

'' We know you don't really like her or her place. So we looked for something different. And we found it. There's a boarding school about 750 miles away from here. You could come home in your holidays and-''

'' No way. Forget about it. I'm not leaving!''

I looked at them furious. How could they? How could they just send me away?

'' This is my house. You can't force me to leave,''

'' And because of that the school isn't that far. And furthermore we won't discuss this. We've already signed you up. School starts in September. You just have to pick your subjects.''

And so I landed here. Which was the best thing anyone could do to me.

23/11/12, 6:47pm, Damon's pool

The water was amazingly cold. It was a great idea of Damon to rather swim than do our essay.

I smiled at him.

"Elena, why are you smiling?"

Why was I smiling. I was enjoying spending time with him. But that, I didn't want him to know.

"I was only thinking that it isn't really often, that it is this hot in November."

Hopefully he wouldn't ask anymore. Otherwise I would have to think of something new.

"Really? You were thinking about that?." He looked at me curiously. "And that makes you smiling?"

Not only that, I was thinking.

"Yeah. What else should make me smile here?"

"I know some-"

Suddenly my phone started to ring in a terrible volume, so that I couldn't understand Damon's last words.

I jumped out of the pool, grabbed a towel and took my phone. It showed Caroline's name. What did she want again? She knew I was with Damon and I promised to tell her everything later at practice and-shit, practice.I looked at the clock. Practice started 5 minutes ago-

I picked up-

"Hey Caroline. I know I'm late. We didn't recognize how late it was getting. Tell Rebekah I'm on my way. Ciao See you soon."

"Typically you. See you."

I hung up.

Faster than ever before I put on my clothes and put I my stuff in my bag.

And while doing that, I forgot about Damon.

"Ehm Elena? I'm still here. Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Damon do you know what time it is? It's 6:50 pm. Practice started 5 minutes ago!"

I looked around to make sure I had all my stuff and when I turned around to leave, Damon got out of the pool and was now standing directly in front of me.

"Until you're back in your room, picked up your cheerleading stuff and you're in the gym, practice will be nearly over. Why won't you stay a bit longer, we eat something and then go back to school together?

Was he being serious? I should just skip practice?

One of the few things I really liked doing and had fun?

"No. When I hurry a bit now, I might be able to be there in the middle. Ciao. I have to go."

"But Elena-"

I just looked at him furiously. He just didn't understand what cheerleading meant to me.

"No, Damon. I'm leaving now."

I went away and left Damon back confused and maybe a bit hurt.

I always could depend on cheerleading.

But not on him. People might leave someday.

24/06/2012, 4:56pm, Dr. Fell's praxis

'' So Elena, why did you try to kill you?''

Wow, she really didn't talk around the subject.

But it was a good question. Why did I try to kill me? I didn't really want to die, I just wanted the pain to be gone.

'' My parents and my brother died in a car accident.''

'' And you didn't want to live without them?''

No that wasn't it. I still had a lot of things to live for.

'' No that wasn't the reason. I just couldn't deal with all the pain anymore, so I took these painkillers. I didn't want to kill me.''

'' Aha.''

She wrote something in her notebook

But what was Aha supposed to mean. Did she already know everything about me? What did she mean with Aha. But before I could overthink these three letters any more she asked: '' How did they die?''

Yeah, about that I only knew what Jenna told me. I wasn't in the car with them. And the police thought I was too much in a shock than to tell me anything.

'' They were in the car on their way to pick me up at my basketball match. When they drove over Wickery Bridge, there was a drunk driver, who crashed into them. The car got off the bridge into the river and the three of them immediately died.''

Tears were streaming down my face. That was the first time I told someone how they died. Before it was either Matt or Jenna who told it to someone.

'' And do you feel guilty about it? Because they were only there to pick you up?''

Did I feel guilty. Yes I felt guilty as hell. It was all my fault. Hadn't I been so stubborn and demanded to play, they wouldn't never have had to pick me up and they would never have driven over that damn bridge.

I started to sob. My whole body shook. Dr. Fell gave me a tissue.

It took a long time for me to calm down again. After that she didn't ask anymore about their deaths.

Only about stuff you would normally tell. School, hobbies.. stuff like that.

And then one hour was over and I went back to my hospital room.

_Okay two chapters in one day, I'm proud ;D  
But I have to tell you, I won't be able to upload as frequently anymore. One to two chapters a day are a lot of work which I just can't do at the moment. I'll be still uploading two to three chapters a week which I think is also a lot. I hope you understand ;D_

_So to the story: _

_I know school normally doesn't start in September in the US, but I'm European and here (at least in Germany ) that's normal. So I didn't really think about it when I wrote it and now it would be difficult to change all the dates..._

_I hope that little fact doesn't bother you too much :D_

_I also decided to let you take part in the story and let you decide a few things from time to time ;)_

_So for the beginning I would like you to make some suggestion in which town I should let Elena live (Because the boarding school is in Mystic Falls) and a towm where Damon's family should life. And I would like them to be as far away from eachother as possible ;D_

_You can also always suggest songs I can use as chapter headlines and also if you would like to have a character named (of course only TVD names, but also from to books) specially. _

_Again thanks for all the love. You donÄt know how much that means to me._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	6. Chapter 6- Read all about it

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Sorry guys. I know it's been longer than planned. I just had a lot to do right now. I hope this will be worth the wait and I promise to update the next chapter sooner. I normally have a lot time next week so maybe even 3 chapters then :D_

**You've got the words to  
change a nation but  
you're biting your tongue.**

You've spent a lifetime  
stuck in silence afraid  
you'll say something wrong.

If no one ever hears it, how  
we gonna learn your song?

**-Emeli Sandé Read all about it**

24/11/2012, 7:39 am, my room at boarding school

I haven't slept one second in the last night.

And that was only because of him. I couldn't let it happen, that he started to mean something to me. I really just couldn't let that happen.

Because the worst pain was losing someone you loved. And that already did happen.

And I didn't know if I'd survived that a second time. So it was better not to have any deeper relationships.

I still had some left, but I couldn't let that number raise. And because of that I just couldn't let him in.

Because of this sleepless night, I decided that I have to reduce our contact to a minimum. So only when I had to, because of the literature project. No second longer. Otherwise it would end badly. And probably even worse for me.

But I had to meet him for the sake of this damn project. Because one of the things which still mattered were my grades and I wouldn't let them suffer because of him.

But now I had yoga. And hopefully I could clear my mind there and forget about Damon.

24/11/2012, 1:12 pm, cafeteria

I got a salad and walked to my usual table. But unfortunately there was Damon. And I wanted to stay away from him.

I was standing directly in front of my seat. Damon smiled at me. He waited for me to sit down. That was so him. He was always so nice and polite and concerned about me. Trying to help me.

But I didn't want anyone to help me.

So I threw my hair over my shoulder and walked away. I headed directly to Ben McKittrick's table. He was the biggest womanizer in school. I had to send April Young away to sit next to him. But one look at her was enough and she got up and walked away.

Ben was worth the little effort I had to make. He wanted me for a while now and so I was sitting on his lap after a few minutes.

When I looked back to my usual table my eyes met Damon's. He looked really disappointed. When he realized I looked at him, he shook his head, got up and walked away.

He could think what he wanted about me. That would just make it easier for me to stay away and move on.

The only thing I hadn't expected was Caroline's reaction. She caught up with me after lunch break.

'' Damn Elena. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always making this shit?''

I looked at her without a clue what she was talking about.

'' What do you mean Care? What did I do that you think is so bad?''

'' You're really not getting it, do you? You're acting like an ass. Damon is always nice and treats you well. And what do you do? You ignore him and push him away. Why are you doing that? I always accepted all the guys you slept with and I even protected you. But I thought that when you'd find the right guy, you would stop with that. But it seems like I was wrong. You treat Damon like the last shit. I always thought that it was just a mask you used. But now I get it. You are just like that. You are just the egoistical bitch everyone said you were. And you know what? I'm done with you!''

And with that she walked away. I hadn't even realized that she had been screaming, but how everyone now looked at me, the all probably heard everything.

And then I noticed the tears streaming down my face.

Damn. Everyone was starring at me and I was crying. Could this day even get worse?

I started to run. I was nearly at my room when I remembered that it was also Caroline's room. So I decided to head to the girls bathroom.

When I was there I looked trough my purse in need of a tissue. But instead of that I suddenly had something else in my hand.

Painkillers.

Desperation overcame me and I broke down.

Please not again. I let someone in and now that someone left.

I couldn't make it this time. It was just too much for me.

My knees gave in and I slid down the wall.

I was shaking and sobbing and I still had the painkillers in my hand.

I looked at them. I knew they would help, they had before. But I also knew that I didn't want them. I knew what they did to me. And I promised myself and would never get so down again. But I just couldn't handle it right now.

Caroline was the only one I had here. She was always the one that supported me. She was my anchor and without her, this school would be hell.

I had no idea what I should do.

Should I forget her and try to find a new friend? But who would want to be my friend? Half of the school only thought about me as someone to sleep with and the other thought just the same as Caroline and wanted nothing to do with me.

I could also open up to her. But what if that didn't change anything. Then I would only be hurt more.

And then I did the only thing I could think about in that situation. I called Dr. Fell.

After two ringings she picked up.

'' Hey Elena. I didn't think you would call. But what can I do for you?''

'' I-... I just can't handle this anymore. It's just to much. She said she's done with me and now I don't know what to do. And I have this painkillers but I don't want to take them but it just hurts to much and-..'' I couldn't talk anymore. I just sobbed again.

'' Elena, first of all calm down. Breathe in and out deeply. And then tell me what exactly happened. I didn't really understand that much.''

And then I told her everything. I told her about Caroline and Damon. And that I was afraid to let them in because I was afraid I would loose them. And because of exactly that fear I tried to isolate me from Damon which caused that Caroline did exactly what I was afraid of.

'' Okay Elena. The first thing you do now is to throw that pills into the toilet and flush.''

And I did like I was told. I really didn't want them anymore.

'' And now Elena, I think there are only two solution. Either you isolate yourself totally so noone could hurt or leave you ever again. Or you just have to open up to them and tell them. I prefer the second one, but it's your choice. So think about it.''

'' Thank you Dr. Fell. I will.''

'' You're welcome. But next time call me before you sit in the bathroom, crying, with pills in yours hands. ''

'' I will. Bye and thank you again.''

'' Bye.''

And with that we ended the call.

And I had to make a choice.

30/07/2012, 3:57 pm, living room

'' Elena, you really have to decide on you subjects now!''

Since they told me about boarding school, that was the most important thing for them. Choosing my subjects. They gave me a brochure about the possibilities and explained to me how I had to choose. I wasn't that complicated. At least one creative subject, one kind of sport, one social science and one kind of science as main subjects. Then one more main subject I could choose freely and minors, which I could change every now and then.

They've explained it to me already like 50 times, because they thought I didn't choose because I didn't know how.

But that I understood. I just didn't understand, why I should go to this school at all. And because of that, I wasn't really interested in choosing subjects.

'' If you want it or not you're going. And if you don't choose until tomorrow we will. And then you'll like it even less.''

As if that was possible. But if I told that Matt now, he would just get more upset.

He already looked at me like I don't know what. And my aunt didn't even have the nerves for that anymore. She just shook her head and left. She was tired of arguing with me.

After she left Matt spoke again.

'' Elena, the boarding school really doesn't look that bad and the subjects sound interesting.''

I looked at him, with a look which was supposed to scare him, make at least his knees shaking, but nothing. He just looked back at me with his typical concerned look I got used to.

'' You know we wouldn't send you there, if we didn't think it was for your own good, don't you?''

Now he looked at me caringly. And he smiled.

'' Okay. I'll look into the brochure.''

And I really did. And like he said, the subjects sounded interesting.

Seriously, the whole school didn't sound that bad.

And the choices were heaven.

After an hour or even more i was finished.

_Main subjects:_

_Science: Biology (because I'd already had that)_

_Sport: Cheerleading (because that always looked cool in movies)_

_Social Science: Literature (because I loved books)_

_Creative subject: Design (because I wanted to try something new)_

_Other: Math (because I was good at it)_

_Minors:_

_Yoga (because I had to learn how to relax)_

_Theatre (because there I could be someone else)_

_Cooking (because I couldn't could even if my life depended on it)_

_Drawing (because my brother loved it)_

I gave the list to my aunt.

'' No basketball? I thought you would start again.''

'' No, no basketball. I did what you wanted so don't argue now please.''

'' Okay, okay. I'm glad you chose. And your subjects really look great. And by the way. We're gonna visit the school in two weeks so you can look around. Maybe even make some friend already. So it would be great if you could already pack a bit of the stuff you wanna take, so when can already take them there then, okay?''

And with that, I was bad-tempered again.

Talking about moving away was one thing. But packing made it real.

And I still wasn't ready for that. I still didn't want to leave.

_Okay that was it. I know there was no Delena in it. But I promise, it will be coming ;)_

_What do you think about her break down?_

_About the last part. I konw it wasn't interesting. But my point was to show all the subjects Elena has, so it wouldn't be confusing later. I hope you like my choice._

_I'm already working on translating the next chapter. I only have two more written until now, but I will then continue to write the story because of you ;D_

_Thank you for reading and following, favoriting and reviewing._

_You can still suggest towns (read the last chapter for that) and always songs if you want one in the story._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	7. Chapter 7-Shouldn't be a Good in Goodbye

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Second chapter in a day. My way to apologize for the longer hiatus before. _

**This is the bad before the worse  
This is the storm before the storm  
I haven't even hit the bottom of this ocean floor  
This is the bend before the break  
This is the mercy not the grace  
This is the proof and not the faith I try to find  
There shouldn't be a good in goodbye**

If I never loved you, if I never felt your kiss.  
If I never had you, I know that I  
I still would have mourned you  
I would have missed your smile

- Jason Walker Shouldn't be a Good in Goodbye

24/11/2012, 3:46 pm, my room at boarding school

'' Hey Caroline, can we talk, please?''

I made a decision. And I chose to tell them everything. After nearly three months I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.

'' It's about what you said to me earlier and I-''

'' You don't expect me to apologize to you, do you? I really did mean it like this!''

she looked at me angrily, but also hurt. And that's when I realized I made the right choice. I just couldn't live without her being my friend. And even if I could I didn't want to.

'' No, I don't expect you to apologize. I think rather should I apologize. And I am really sorry. About everything. But mostly about that I didn't tell you the truth. And that's why I wanted to talk to you. To finally tell you the truth. Maybe you'll understand then why I am like this or better why I act like this.''

There were already tears streaming down my face. That showed how hard it was for me. To open up again, after everything that happened. But I wouldn't back down. I would be strong and tell it to her. Our friendship was worth it.

She looked at me. Disbelieving and confused.

But still, she took my hand and pulled me to my bed to sit down.

She then sat next to me and said: '' Okay, then tell me!''

I took a last deep breath and then I told her.

And I told her everything.

How my life was used to be. About my brother and parent's accident. And how after that my world fell apart.

I told her how I nearly killed myself, about Dr. Fell, that at the beginning I didn't want to come here.

I really told her everything. And my tears didn't stop streaming. And after a while she also began to cry.

When I was finished talking. She hugged me.

'' Thank you.''

Now I was confused. '' For what?''

'' For telling me, for being honest with me, for trusting me.

But what I still don't really understand is why you made out with all the guys and why you're now trying to push Damon away.''

She looked at me patiently. I just had to think about how I could explain it to her.

'' I think I did it, because I was scared. I was scared that if I let someone in, and if I started caring for that someone, that I could always loose this someone again, like how I lost my family. Because of that I always made out with different guys. So that I didn't know them long enough to care about them or even have feelings for them. And while I made out with them I could forget about my past for a bit. But Care, you really have to believe me, I've never slept with any of them.''

'' I believe you.''

And this three words really meant the world to me in that moment.

And because they meant so much to me I started to cry again.

24/11/2012, 5:30 pm, Damon's house

I rang the bell.

This conversation would probably be much harder than the one I had with Caroline. But I chose to tell him so I would. And I also promised it to Care.

And I really had to tell him. But still, I was terrified.

I wanted things between us to change, but at the same time I wanted them to be just the same as they were before.

I had feelings for Damon, but I was scared they weren't mutual.

But for now, I would just tell him about my past. The rest would have to wait. I just wanted him back.

The door was opened and Damon looked at me. Disappointed and angry.

'' What do you want? I thought you would be busy sleeping with your boytoy or however you call them.''

Outch, that hurt. But I probably deserved it.

'' I'm here because of our literature project.''

'' Elena, listen, I really don't think it's the best idea after what happened today.''

He couldn't even look me in the eyes anymore. And he looked so sad.

I really wanted to see his piercing blue eyes sparkle again and his mouth making this beautiful smile again. I just wanted to see him happy.

'' Because of that I'm here. I want to explain everything to you. But only if you want to. I would understand if you didn't but I wished you'd listen.''

He looked at me and I could see that he was thinking about it. We were just standing there for a moment of silence, but it felt like hours.

I couldn't promise not to cry if he'd sent me away. I really needed him back as my friend. I missed him. And it's only been a day. When I couldn't stand it anymore and just wanted to turn around to leave defeatedly, he said:

'' Okay, come in.''

He hold the door open for me and I walked in.

That was the first step. But the next one would be the hardest.

13/08/2012, 11:43 am, boarding school

Wow.

This really looked like a palace. The photos hadn't even nearly shown how large this building was. It could really be an old palace.

'' So Elena, I see your look. And I know that look. You like it.''

Matt knew me a bit too well. But I couldn't let them win this one.

'' Yeah I'm impressed. How could you not be? And yes, I like the building. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be here. And by no means for the rest of my school life. But like I said, the building is impressive.''

Matt and Jenna rolled their eyes simultaneously. For the whole three hours of our flight I complained about going here and they were both tired of it.

'' So we're gonna meet the principal today, you will get your dorm room and we can look around the campus, okay?''

My aunt told me that for the fifth time. I think she just wanted to talk so that I couldn't talk anymore.''

'' And Elena, behave. If you don't you'll ruin your school life and everything you've worked for so hard.''

Matt looked at me with a serious expression. I knew that I couldn't behave like this in front of my principal to be. I wasn't that dumb.

I just wanted to annoy them a bit more and maybe even scare them. That at least they deserved.

We then headed to the principal's office. My aunt talked to the secretary for a moment before we were let in.

'' So you are Elena!''

The principal hold out his hand for me to shake it. I took it and smiled politely.

'' Yes I am. Nice to meet you-'' Shit what was his name again. I knew it a few seconds ago. It started with L. Ah I remembered.

'' Mr. Lockwood.''

Jenna let out a sight. She was relieved I behaved. And I even remembered the name.

'' Yeah it's nice to meet you, too. And you then have to be Mr.. Donovan and Mrs.. Sommers-Saltzman, Elena's guardians?''

They also exchanged greetings and handshakes and after that we sat down.

'' So Elena I've seen your grades and I can tell you we're really happy to have you here. But I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed you didn't join our basketball team. They could really need your help. But it's your decision and I'm gonna accept it. ''

He smiled at me. Principal Lockwood was an older man, probably around 50. But he still looked in good shape. If he was a bit younger and not my principal he could have been a good distraction. But he was my principal and he was old., so I had to look for someone other.

'' So Elena, here's your timetable. The other students get theirs when school starts, but because it's your first year and everything I decided to give it to you today. I hope there are no mistakes with your choice of subjects. ''

He handed me the paper.

I looked at it. Despite that being a boarding school, I had a lot of free time. Especially in the afternoon. My last period was only until 3:30 pm and then I had break until cheerleading at 6:45 pm. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Mr. Lockwood talked for another 30 minutes about the school, rules, and philosophies and stuff like that.

So the boarding school was an only boarding school. Normally all students lived here too. There were only a few exceptions, so only a few students lived outside.

Under the week, I had to be back at the school at 11 pm and at midnight I had to be in my room. At the weekends I had to be back at 1 am and in my room at 3 am. I could also sleep outside school at the weekends, but for that I had to fill out a form first. But all together it wasn't that bad.

And like my aunt told me, the holidays were long enough to fly home.

After our conversation, Principal Lockwood showed me too my room.

'' So you get a code which you have to tip in. Then the door will automatically open. Normally you change it, but you have to do that together with your roommate. Unfortunately she isn't here at the moment, because of the holidays. But her name is Caroline Forbes. Like you she has cheerleading, so you'll see her there, too. And it's her third year at this school. She's a really nice girl and I think you'll like her. So this is your room.''

He opened the door with a code and gave me the next paper, with the roomnumber, code and everything else I needed to know about my room.

'' So I have to get back to my office, but if you have any questions, you know where to find me. And please come say goodbye before you leave. I'll always like to know who's here.''

And with that he left. And I had time to look around my new home.

_So what do you think?_

_I have to apologize again for something I just realized. I didn't check the dates so it could be that Elena's has school, but it's actual Sunday. If that's the case I'm sorry I haven't thought about it before. And also I'm not good with american holidays. So don't be mad if I forget one._

_Next chapter will be really emotional, because of Elena's confession to Damon. It's not written yet, but I promise to hurry._

_Thank you again for all the support. That means a lot to me._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	8. Chapter 8- All Time Low

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_I know I promised to update more this week. But I stayed at a friends house for two days and couldn't write there ;( _

_I still try to upload 2-3 chapters (including this) until Sunday, because then I'm gonna be working for two weeks and I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to write at all in this time._

**And if you know**

**How do you get up from an all time low  
I'm in pieces  
It seems like peace is  
The only thing I never know  
How do you get up from an all time low  
I can't even find a place to start  
How do I choose between my head and heart  
till it ceases I never know  
How do you get up from an all time low **

**-The Wanted All time Low**

24/11/2012, 5:37 pm, Damon's house

I was nervous. I was as nervous as never before. But there was no going back now. And I also didn't want to go back now. I really wanted to be honest with him.

'' So Damon. I think we should change our project order.''

He looked at me disbelievingly. I didn't expect it in an other way. I promised him the truth and he didn't see how our project order was related to that. But before he could say anything I continued.

'' I think it's time to come to our own opinion. In my case you could talk about own experience.''

I took a deep breath. Now was the time to come clear and I was ready for it. For all of it.

'' For me pain is a sign that you're still alive. And it's the scariest thing not to feel this pain again, because then you know it's over.''

He looked shocked. He was shocked. But, hey, it wasn't everyday that someone told you, that not feeling pain was scary. I didn't wait for him to say anything.

'' I know what I'm talking about. Losing someone you love causes a lot of pain. Losing three people at once is worth. But the worst part was really not to feel the pain anymore. If you don't feel pain, you feel nothing. And trust me, every bit of pain is worth the feeling of being loved or of had been loved and it's worth every bit of love you have to give. Worth the happiness, and the luck, even if this happy moments are rare, they are worth it. And I nearly lost everything I had left, just to realize this. Pain is worth the good things in life.''

Now he looked at me confused. He didn't really understand what I was talking about and I knew that. But I somehow wanted to prepare him of what was coming next. I wanted to prepare him for my tears, because I didn't know how he would handle them this time, when I told him about why I was crying. But I also told him this first, because I didn't know how to start. And I think he felt that, because he then said:

'' The first time we met I told you you should talk about it with someone. The next time I told you you should talk to me about it. So don't be afraid of telling me now. And I promise whatever it is I won't judge.''

He smiled at me. And his smile was everything I needed to encourage me. It was still the reason I was here. To see him happy again.

'' That's why I'm here. I just don't know where to start.''

Why was it so much more difficult to tell him than to tell Caroline? I had no idea.

'' Just start.''

'' Okay. You know I told you I had played basketball and that I just stopped?''

He nodded.

'' I lied. There was a reason I stopped. But I think I even have to start earlier in my life. So when I was around four or five my dad took me to a NBA game. Bobcats against Bulls. While every other little girl was only interested in the cheerleaders, I couldn't get my eyes off of the game. That might now be ironic because I'm a cheeleader now, but that's not the point. So I couldn't get my eyes off of the game and that was when I realized I wanted to play basketball. And after the game I told that to my dad. He told it to my mom. My parents always supported me in everything and they always took me serious, despite me being only five years old. So they looked up were I could play basketball and they always drove me to practice and games and everything. This is were I met my best friend Bonnie, but I'm not sure if we're still friends.''

I really didn't know that. After my parents death she always called and visited, but I never wanted to talk to here, because at the beginning I blamed her for the accident. Hadn't she convinced me to play at this game, my parents wouldn't have driven and wouldn't have had the accident. This was complete crap, but when I realized that she didn't call that often anymore and didn't visit at all. I saw her at school but she was always busy. And since I was here, we hadn't talked at all. I was deep in my thoughts about her, when I remembered Damon and why I was here. He was still sitting and looking at me, but didn't want to disturb my thoughts.

'' Okay so I love playing basketball and I became really good. But when I got older they thought I was independent enough and didn't come to that many games anymore. It didn't matter to me because I knew they still supported me. But then in June I had this one game. It was the same day as our family trip. The whole family was going so my parents told me I had to go too. But because they knew how much I love playing they told me I could play the first halftime and they would then pick me up. So I went to the game and they didn't come to pick me up. First I was angry because I thought about going back by bus and everything, but then I didn't care because so I could play. I didn't even care that they hadn't came, can you believe that? A game was more important to me than my own family.''

I had to stop for a bit. The tears had just started to flow and I had to concentrate not to start sobbing. After all that months I still couldn't get over the fact that I didn't care back then. But I tried to stay strong now. I still had a lot to tell Damon.

That's when I looked up at him. I wanted to know what he thought about me. What he thought at all. His expression was sad and sorry, but somehow also comforting and so I continued.

'' When my phone rang I was even angry, because I had to leave the court for a bit. But when it then was my aunt who called me, I knew something was wrong. And something really was wrong. Terribly wrong. To pick me up, my parents had to drive over a bridge, Wickery bridge. And on that day, a drunk person drove in the opposite direction and crashed into my family's car on that bridge. The car went over and into the water. And because we wanted to go directly to the family trip meeting point, everyone was in the car. My mom, my dad and my little brother. They were all dead immediately.''

I couldn't stay strong anymore and my silence tears turned into sobs and I was shaking. I couldn't talk anymore at the moment. Damon realized that and took me in a hug. He stroked my hair and whispered smoothing words. It felt comforting. And I felt safer than for a long time. But still I continued sobbing. It still happened every time I talked about their death. And this time it was mixed with relief, that I finally told Damon.

We sat there together for a while. Me in Damon's embrace, he consoling me. After a while my sobbing eased. But I still didn't continue to talk. Not even when I was completely calm. I just didn't want to leave the comfort of Damon's embrace. But when I was calm he freed me and looked at me.

'' I'm really sorry. I can't imagine loosing my parents and my little sister, but you have to know one thing, it wasn't your fault.''

Yeah, it wasn't my fault, I still felt a bit guilty, but not as much as I felt at the beginning.

'' I know that now. But I didn't at the beginning. And Damon, that's not the whole story. There's a lot more.''

24/11/2013, 2:58 am, my room (boarding school)

_'' Daddy look, he did it again.''_

_I smiled at him with bright eyes. They all looked like they were flying. They could jump so high._

_'' Yeah Elena, it's called a dunking.''_

_'' I think it looks like flying. Like superheroes do.''_

_He smiled at me and laughed. _

_'' Yep, just like superheroes. Honey do you want anything to drink or to eat?''_

_I thought about it. Maybe I was a bit hungry, but I didn't want to miss a second of the game._

_'' No Daddy I'm fine. But can we come back next week? And can we take Mommy and Jeremy? I think they would like it, too.''_

_I liked spending time with my Dad alone. But I still missed my Mom and Jeremy. I always got the sweets he didn't want anymore. And I really loved them. And he wasn't that bad for a two year old boy._

_'' Sorry sweetie. I don't think we can watch the next game. They gonna play in New York. But I promise you we'll watch another game sometime. And then we can also take Mommy and Jeremy. Maybe you can then explain the rules to him.''_

_That would be great. And I knew all the rules. Daddy explained them to me earlier because I ask him why they always stopped the game._

_'' Daddy?''_

_'' Yes honey?''_

_'' I want to play basketball.''_

_I just decided that while watching. I also wanted to fly like them. And everyone in the arena cheered at them. That was so cool._

_'' You're serious about it?''_

_'' Yes, they all look like they're having fun. Can I please?''_

_He smiled at me again._

_'' I need to talk with your Mom about it, but I'll try my best.''_

_'' Thank you Daddy.''_

_I laughed, jumped at him and gave him a bear hug._

I woke up confused. That was the first time I dreamt something nice about them. And it was the memory I told Damon about earlier.

Normally when I thought about the good times with my parents, I always was sad afterwards, but this time felt different. I was happy. Happy about the time I had with them. Even if it was a short time.

_So that was chapter 8 ;D;D_

_I know I'm not really good at writing emotional scenes. I hoped it still turned out somehow acceptable._

_And sorry for only writing half of their conversation. I didn't want it to fill the whole chapter, but I also didn't want to leave something. So be patient, it's coming in the next one. :D_

_So someone told me it wouldn't be logical that they sent Elena away, because she'd isolated herself. First of all, it would be much easier if I could reply to you directly ;D. But I understand what's bothering you, so I try to explain it now:  
At home Elena isolated herself by not leaving the house anymore, because in the house was evrything she had left of her family. By sending her away she was forced to leave the house and to meet new people. They also hoped that in an other environment she wouldn't be 'chased' by memories of her parents anymore and maybe could be happy/happier again. I think there's always a chance that if you send someone away it's getting worse. But there might also be a chance that it improves, so that was my logic about it. I don't know if in Elena's case it improved or if it got worse (at least at this point of the story), but it was worth trying._

_I hope now you understand what I thought/still think while writing. ;D And also thank you for the note on the school start. Like I said I don't live in the USA and I only now that my cousins start school early in August._

_Thank you again for all the support. I love you all. I would also love to talk with you about the story, if you want to or want to suggest anything. Just PM me or write me on twitter, I normally follow back all me followers, so you can also DM me ;)_

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	9. Chapter 9- Holding out for a Hero

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Sorry I didn't made it to upload the chapter yesterday, I was a bit distracted. Mainly by twitter ;D But yeah, here it is. I hope you like it ;D_

**Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me  
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat  
Isn't there a superman to sweep me off my feet?**

**I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be larger than life**

**- Ella Mae Bowen Holding ou for a Hero**

24/11/2012, 6:13 pm, Damon's house

'' There's more?''

I think Damon couldn't believe how much I told him and still wanted to tell him in just one evening. I've never talked that much about me before. But then I recognized we didn't talk about his past either. We just talked about school, our friends and light topics. I would have to ask him about his past later.

'' Yes there is. I have a lot of relatives, but I'm not really close with them. And after my parents death noone really wanted to take care of me. I have to admit, it wasn't easy for them, because I refused to move out of the house, because that would have meant I would have to sell it and that I couldn't do. My aunt Jenna, she's the sister of my Mom, tried everything to persuade me to move in with her. She really wanted to take her of me, but because of my little cousin Margaret she couldn't move in with me, because she and her husband Alaric didn't want Margaret to change school and everything for me. And I really understand that. But there still wasn't anyone to take care of me and I'm only 16 so they wouldn't let me live by myself. They nearly forced me to move out, when my cousin, Matt, came up with something. He proposed to share the guardianship with my aunt and he would move in with me. The others didn't really like the idea because he's only 23, but my aunt agreed and so the deal was settled. But I have to admit, I didn't really notice most of that. The days after the accident I was in a really bad shape. I hated myself because of the guilt I felt and I missed them so much that I couldn't deal with it. I didn't leave my room, didn't eat, didn't talk. I just lived in my little cocoon. My cousin then moved in and tried everything to cheer me up or at least to get me to eat something. And then I did and everyone thought I was getting better. But in reality I wasn't and I think that was why everyone was so surprised about what happened next. It was in the night and I hadn't slept properly since the accident. My body couldn't handle all of it anymore and I only saw one solution. So I took a painkiller. But that didn't help and I took another one and so one until I blacked out. My cousin then found me and I was brought to the hospital. But when I was laying there I thought about everything I still had and I realized that I had to fight for it. You have to believe me, I never planned on killing me, it was more an accident. But that was what it took me to be shaken awake and I decided to change my behavior.''

I stopped again. There were tears again, but somehow I could manage not to sob. Damon looked shocked. He definitely hadn't seen that coming. But somehow he also seemed hurt and I really didn't know why.

I stared at him, ready for him to say something, but he didn't. He didn't even look like he was present. Maybe he was just progressing everything.

But then he school his head and looked at me.

'' You nearly died?''

I nodded.

'' That's what you told about earlier. About pain showing that you're still alive. You didn't feel it for a moment, did you?''

I nodded again. He looked at me with eyes wide open in panic, like he couldn't bear the thought of me being dead. I didn't know why, but I didn't want him to tell me, so I asked.

'' There's still a bit more. Or aren't you curious how I landed here?''

Now he nodded.

02/09/2012, 9:47 am, boarding school

I had the feeling I forgot something. Something really important. But that's how it's always been when I packed for vacation. And boarding school was somehow like vacation. But only somehow. But I'd still packed half of my room into bags and cartons and loaded everything in Matt's truck. He and my aunt divided their driving time so that I could sleep the whole 11 hours of the drive. And i have to admit, I really preferred the plane. But if we'd flown I couldn't have taken all my stuff and so we decided to drive here once. The problem was, Matt and Jenna were now sleeping in the car while I had to carry all my stuff into my room myself.

I just picked up another bag when someone stopped in front of me.

'' You don't have to carry that all in your room by yourself, do you?''

The guy was tall and not that bad looking, if you liked blonde hair and green eyes, which I normally didn't.

'' Actually yes. I have to carry it on my own.''

'' That's not an option. A girl like you shouldn't have to do that. Let me help you.''

He then took the bag out of my hands and also tool another one out of the truck. I also took a new one and we walked together to my room.

'' Thank you. I really appreciate it. Otherwise I would've walked at least twenty times. So really thank you.'' Normally I didn't like people to help me, but I really wasn't keen on carrying all by myself and he did it to flirt with me.

'' By the way, I'm Elena.''

I smiled at him. Yeah, he really was cute, but not my type. He was the usual all-American boy, even a bit more like my cousin.

'' I'm Finn. And I'm glad I can help.''

He smile back at me. We walked a bit more and were then standing in front of my room. We had to walk five more times, although Finn always carried at least two bags or cartons. I really would have walked twenty times.

'' Thank you again Finn. I didn't know what I've done with out you. My cousin and my aunt were supposed to help me but they blacked out in the car so thank you.''

'' It was really no problem. I hope to see you around. Bye Elena.''

I waved at him and he then left. I turned around to unpack and was now standing with my back to the door when I heard it open.

'' Did you forget something Finn?''

But when I turned around I didn't see Finn. There was a blonde, blue eyed girl, with two large bags in every hand.

'' I'm not Finn. I'm Caroline. And I didn't forget anything I live here.''

She put down her bags.

'' You have to be Elena then. Principal Lockwood informed me that I would share a room with you. It's going to be so cool. We can make our hair, talk about guys and everything. My last roommate was a bit weird, so I couldn't do that with her. But I can feel it, you are different and we're gonna be great friends.''

She never stopped talking, not even to breathe. But she was such a positive girl. Maybe that was what I needed. She walked in my direction and I thought she wanted to shake my hand, but to my surprise she hugged me.

'' I'm so happy you are here. I think this year will be great.''

She freed me of her embrace and smiled at me.

'' Can you please help me get the rest of my stuff? It's not that much, because I left most of it here over the summer. And on our way you have to tell me, how you got Finn to carry all your stuff in here. He never does it when I asked him.''

I smiled at her and we walked out to get her stuff. And like she demanded I told her about Finn.

24/11/2012, 6:25 pm, Damon's house

'' When I woke up in the hospital I was really shocked. Everyone was really shocked. And because I was 'suicidal' I had to talk to a psychologist and had to stay in the hospital a bit longer. I even missed the funeral. But even if I didn't like my psychologist, she really helped me deal with everything. I didn't blame myself or Bonnie or anyone for the accident anymore. I took it just like it was, an accident. And because I made a lot of progress I could go home. But there it was hard. I had to go back to school immediately. I don't think they knew about the pills, but they all knew about my parents and brother's death and that I wasn't at their funeral, so they all talked about me. And I didn't have left any friends. Maybe Bonnie, but I don't know that.

In the house it was worse. Everywhere were memories of them and I couldn't let go. I started to blame me again and the guilt made it worse until I didn't leave the house anymore. I felt guilty and thought everyone talked about me, so I just stayed at home. But my psychologist recognized it. She tried to talk with me again to convince me that it wasn't my fault. But I shut her out this time. And I also shut out my family. So they talked with her and they decided something had to change. Decided to send me away. They found this school and forced me to go. I really didn't want to at the beginning, but their wasn't an alternative, so I landed here. And it wasn't that bad.''

I smiled at him. He got the hint and smiled back.

I didn't cry this time. I think there weren't any tears left. But I also felt safe. I knew he wouldn't judge me and no matter what he would still be here when I'd finished. And that was one of the things I'd feared before.

'' I'm glad they forced you to come here.''

He again smiled at me

'' But why did you made out with all the guys?''

Like Caroline he didn't understand that. But I hadn't really explained it to him. So.

'' Like I said, I wasn't that good when I came here. I felt alone and unloved. After my family left me, the bit of family that I had left sent me away. They didn't want me. At least then I thought that. And when I got here there was this cute guy, who helped me carry my stuff and flirted and it felt good. When I wanted to thank him again later, we kissed and then started to make out. I wasn't like that before, but when we made out, I didn't feel that emptiness for a moment and that I liked. But I wasn't ready to sleep with him and he got angry. So I just told him he can tell everyone we'd sex and yes he did. But I feared to got to attached to him, to care about him, so the next day I made out with someone other. And after just a few days, I got my reputation and it got easier to get a new guy everyday. I told each of them, they could tell the whole school whatever they wanted. I didn't care. And now everyone just thinks of me as a slut. Until I met you. You were different. You didn't see me like that and I liked it. And I liked spending time with you. And when we got carried away at the pool and I forgot about practice I realized I cared. And I was afraid you'd leave me, like my parents left. For me it was better to push you away than to let you leave. But than Caroline screamed at me and you looked so disappointed and it was all to much. I broke down again, unsure what to do. So I called Dr. Fell and she told me it was okay to let you in. It was a risk I had to take.

I told everything to Care, because I couldn't leave her. And then I came here.''

I looked him in the eyes.

'' And when I got here, I knew I made the right choice. It had only been one day, and I already missed you. And so we got here.''

He hugged me again.

'' I'm really glad you came. Thank you. I understand you now. And just that you know, I'm not planning on leaving soon.''

I still wanted to tell him so much more. How I felt about him and what I wanted.

But it wasn't the right time now and I knew that. So I had to wait for a bit.

_First of all I am so sorry. I just re-read the other chapters and found really a lot of spelling mistakes. I have no idea why I haven't seen them the first time I re-read the chapters. But I tried to correct all of them and I also updated the corrected versions. So again I'm really sorry for that._

_So Elena finally told Damon. I know some of you expected it to lead into a kiss or something like that, but for me it just didn't feel right. She was vulnerable in that moment and Damon would have taken advantage of that. So no kiss. But it's a DELENA story. So a kiss is coming :D The question is just, when is it coming? ;D_

_Thank you for the love 3_

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	10. Chapter 10- All you never say

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Again it took me longer than expected ;( Maybe I should just surprise you with my uploads so I can't disappiont you? I have a lot of going on lately, unfortunately not as I expected. So I'm really sorry._

_But anyway, here's the next chapter:_

**All you never say is that**

**You love me so**

**All I'll never know is**

**If you want me oh**

**If only I could look**

**Into your mind**

**Maybe then I'd find a sign**

**Of all I want to hear you**

**Say to me**

**To me**

**-Birdy All You Never Say**

25/11/2012, 11:35 am, my room at boarding school

I hadn't slept that good in a really long time. After the dream or better the memory of my first basketball game last night I'd been happy and had fallen back to sleep in just a few seconds. Now I was laying in bed and the memories of yesterday evening were playing in my head again. I was relieved Damon knew it now and also Caroline. I think I couldn't have made it without them here. Even if I only knew Damon for a week, he was already a part of my life. And for Caroline, like she said it in the beginning, she was my best friend.

And she came out of the bathroom at the same moment.

'' Hey sleepyhead. You're lucky it's Saturday. You didn't even notice the alarm and trust me it was unmistakably. And now that you're finally awake spill the beans. I've been dieing to hear what happened yesterday and had nearly woken you up. You hadn't been at practice, Damon hadn't been at practice so I thought you finally got to it. I mean it would be time. You like him, he likes you and you fixed everything between you, it was logical. And by the way Rebekah and mason, I mean Coach Lockwood, are both furious about you both not showing up, but noone suspects anything.

Okay and now I lost track of what I wanted to say. Wait a second.''

That was typically Caroline even she lost track of what she said herself. I think I knew what she wanted, but it was funny watching her thinking about it, so I waited.

'' Ah I know it, so I expected you to stay there now that you're together but when I came back, you were already asleep, so what the hell happened?''

Yep, exactly what I thought she would say. I thought about that option before I got to Damon, but nah, it didn't turn out like that.

'' Care, do you remember how it was for me to tell you the truth? It was even worse with Damon and it was the same day. I was exhausted, I blacked out even before my head was on my pillow. And just so you know it, Damon and I aren't together. It just wasn't the right time to talk about my feelings for him. I've already told him about my parents and brother's death. It would have been too emotional for just one day. And what makes you even think he's also into me? I'm still afraid he isn't, so I think with that dream of yours you have to wait a bit longer.''

She looked at me disappointed. After our talk yesterday she told me she was all team Delena, her shipname for us. But like I just told her, yesterday wasn't the right moment to tell Damon.

So we just talked a bit more about my family and when I nearly fell asleep on his couch I left.

'' But Lena-''

'' No buts Care. I just told you not right now. So just be a bit patient. But now to you, how was practice?''

'' It was the usual, only that Rebekah was pissed about you not showing up. But I calmed her down and told her you weren't feeling well. So don't worry about that. And after practice I talked to Stefan. He's so sweet.''

Stefan as in Damon's best friend Stefan? What did I miss there?

'' With Stefan you mean Stefan Frelsari, Damon's best friend? Why didn't I know you were into him?''

'' I am not. I just said he's cute. And he just came to me to ask you if I knew where you or Damon had been. I think he's also team Delena, but yesterday he was also a bit angry with you. But that I also fixed for you.''

What did she mean with fixed? She hadn't, had she?

'' Don't worry I didn't tell him anything, just that you had your reasons but were now trying to fix things between you and Damon. Stefan seemed happy about that.''

One more to worry about. I didn't think our friends pushing us to get together would help. We just needed our time.

23/03/2001, 3:29 pm, gym

'' Look Lena honey there's your couch, let's go talk to him.''

'' No Mummy, I don't want to stay here. Here are only boys, please!''

I looked around again. There was really no girl. Who should I play with them? They would all be mean, like the boys in preschool.

'' But sweetie, you begged us to come here, let us at least talk to the coach.''

I wanted to play, but with girls. But my Mom just took my hand and pulled me with her.

'' Excuse me, you're the coach here, aren't you?''

'' Yes I am. My name is Elijah.''

'' Hello Elijah. So this is my daughter Elena. She'd been to a NBA game last week and now she wants to play, too.''

'' You've been to a NBA game?''

He looked at me. He seemed nice.

'' Yes, and they could fly like superheroes. I wanna fly like that, too.''

He now smiled at me.

'' I can't promise anything, but I promise well try everything we can.''

'' But I don't want to stay here. There are only boys.''

I now pouted. I really didn't want to be here any longer.

'' You don't have to worry about them, they're all really nice. And there's one more girl. Her name is Bonnie, she just isn't here yet.''

In that moment the door opened again and a girl came in. She had black hair, wore black sports shorts and pink top and pink sneakers. She ran directly to us.

'' I'm really sorry I'm late Elijah. My little brother got sick and my Mom had to drive him to the doctor. I stayed at my Grams house and she forgot I had practice.''

She looked really sad about being late.

'' Don't worry about it Bonnie. We haven't started yet. Hopefully your brother gets better really soon. But I want you to meet someone. So Bonnie this is Elena, she wants to play basketball, too. Elena this is Bonnie.''

'' Hi Elena. What's your favorite color, mine is pink like my top.''

She smiled at me with a bright smile.

'' Mine is pink too. But I don't wear a pink top today.''

I was really sad about it. Now she wouldn't like me.

'' That's fine. I like your top too. Come!''

She took my hand and we ran away together. I looked back and saw my Mom smiling.

When she saw me looking at her she waved and after I waved back she went home.

25/11/2012, 2:56 pm, Damon's house

I knocked. He asked me to come today. But because I had slept so long, I didn't have the chance to eat dinner at school, so I picked up some take away at my favorite Asian restaurant.

He opened the door. He looked sleepy. Did I wake him? It was already 3pm.

'' Hey Damon, I didn't wake you did I? You told me I should be here at 3 pm.''  
'' It's my own fault. I had early morning practice and then went to bed again. So don't worry about it.''  
He seemed exhausted. Why did he even have morning practice? It was Saturday and all the other players seemed totally fine when I saw them in the hallway.

'' Come in. I'm just gonna go change and be back in a minute. If you want something to drink, just grab something from the fridge and make yourself a home.''

He went upstairs. I still didn't know why he had practice, it somehow seemed weird. But maybe I shouldn't worry about that anymore. I came here with a mission and shouldn't let something like that distract me. And maybe I could ask him when he came back. But i actually came to learn more about his family. He'd never told me anything about them and in a matter of fact I've been here everyday last week and hadn't seen them once. And I knew he had a sister, but I hadn't seen her either.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a water. I also put the food on the counter. Then I went back to the living room and looked through the books on the shelf. I've already read most of them but that was no surprise as I spent most of my life with books. When I just pulled out _The Great Gatsby, _one of my favorites he came back down the stairs.

'' I'm really sorry I've just been really exhausted.''  
'' You still look like it. Did you already eat something today at all?''

'' No, but I'm just gonna make me a sandwich or something.''  
'' You don't have to. Consider yourself lucky, but I haven't eaten anything either, so I brought some Asian takeaway. It's already in the kitchen.''

'' Thank you, you're my hero right now.''

So we went in the kitchen, Damon put two plates out of the cupboard and we sat down to eat. He really was hungry. I've never seen someone eat that fast and that much before in my life.

'' Seems like practice was really hard this morning. When was it anyway?''

'' 5:30 am. And yes it was. I had to run the whole time.''

Okay that seems really hard, but wait what he had to? What was with all the others.

'' You were the only one? Why?''

He looked at me sadly. And also like he didn't know what to do.

'' I had an extra practice this morning because I didn't show up yesterday.''  
'' Because of me...''

That couldn't be or could it? He had extra training only because of me?

'' Yeah, but it's not that bad. I only needed a bit of extra sleep afterwards and food. And that you got me, so it's really nothing. And it also happened before. So let's not talk about it anymore. Tell me more about your family!''  
I still wasn't convinced, but he didn't want to talk about it so I wouldn't push it. But I didn't want to talk about me today.  
'' No way, I'm not going to talk about me anymore before I don't know anything about you. So where is your family?''

_The end of the chapter before you learn anything about Damon. I know I'm a tease, but it's late here and i wanted to upload today. So next chapter is about Damon's family. At least part of it. _

_Okay, just that you know Frelsari is the Icelandic word for Savior like in Salvator ;D (at least that was what Google Translate said about it. I don't speak Icelandic, so if it's wrong just tell me). I didn't want to make them brothers, but Stefan should still have somehow his name, so tadahh._

_And yep, you've read it right. Both Caroline AND Stefan are Delena shippers :D_

_So there was also how she met Bonnie. I know she's not important at the moment, but I'm thinking about something and for that this is important. It's also the first part about her being a child (apart from her dream). So should I continue with childhood memories once in a while or should I forget about them?_

_So with the dates, I'm a bit confused myself. They don't really match, but please just take it how it is now and just think of it as a bit of a red line so you know where which part belongs. Don't make up tou much because of the intervals between them, because that's a bit difficult._

_Ah and by the way, Coach Lockwood and Principal Lockwood are brothers. Mason is the Coach and Richard the Principal._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	11. Chapter 11- Clarity

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_And again I'm sorry. I didn't really had time to write, so this chapter turned out short. There's a little chance I'm gonna be able to write one today, but not sure yet._

**Walk on through a red parade, and refuse to make amends  
It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense  
Don't speak as I try to leave, cause we both know what we'll choose  
If you pull, then I'll push too deep and Ill fall right back to you**

**Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didnt need  
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I dont know why  
If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?**

**-Zedd Clarity**

02/09/2012, 8:30 pm, boarding school

Finally Jenna and Matt left, already late for their flight. I was relieved. They started to question their decision to force me to go here and started worrying about me. As much as I wanted to just go home, the more I've thought about living here the more I liked it. So i just sent them away a few minutes ago.

But really, a boarding school had a lot of perks. No one would tell me how to behave or what to do in my free time. The subjects weren't that bad. The boys were cute, at least the ones I've already met. But the best part was the nobody knew me or my history. They didn't see me as the basketball jerk, the nerd or the poor girl that lost her parents. Here I could invent a new me and I'd already have plans about how I wanted to be.

In that moment Caroline came back to our room.I didn't have the chance to talk to her really much that day, because of my family, but as far as I knew her she seemed nice. Maybe she talked a bit too much but I could live with that.

'' Hey Elena, is your family gone?''

'' Yes, finally. I thought I had to grab them and force them to the airport by myself. They just didn't leave.'' I joked with her.

'' Then I'm glad they went voluntarily.''

She smiled at me.

'' So Elena, tell me a bit about you!''

What was there to tell about me? Or what did I want to tell her?

'' There's not really much about me. I grew up in a little town called Fells Church near Chicago. I haven't really been anywhere else.''

'' Mhh interesting. And what brought you to this glorious school in Mystic Falls then? I hope not the town. There isn't really anything here. When there isn't a party at someone's house at the weekend, you can really do nothing.''

Okay, I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't been a partygirl. But when my plan would work, that would change. But how if there were no parties?

'' Okay that sucks. But I'm not here because of parties. My family just didn't have the time to look after me anymore, so they sent me here.''

'' And what about your parents? They weren't here today, were they?''

I knew that question would come. So I was prepared.

'' My parents are busy with work and always traveling. I mostly grew up at my grandparent's house. But they past away and then I tried to live with different relatives, but it somehow never worked. So now I'm here.''

'' I'm sorry about your grandparents.''

'' Yeah I miss them. But what about you? Why are you here?''

And after that question Caroline couldn't be stopped anymore. She talked about her family, friends, hometown, ex-boyfriends and so on.

Basically Caroline went to this school, because her parents were both in the military and they moved a lot. They didn't want that for their daughter, so they send her here. She was an only-child but still had a large family. She had had two relationships, but was single at the moment. She loved dancing and partying.

So yeah, we would get along just great.

'' So Elena, did you get all your clothes yet?''

'' What clothes?''

I hadn't heard of that before. There were uniforms at this school? Okay so it would maybe be a bit harder to get the reputation I wanted.

'' You didn't get that brochure, did you? They always forget to send it. But you have to wear special clothes at school. It's only when you have classes, or when there are special events so other schools are here. There is the normal uniform, which you can mix yourself with tops, skirts, trousers and whatever. I'll show you were to get them later okay?''

I nodded, hopefully the looked somehow good. I didn't want to look like an idiot.

'' Good. But in some classes you get other clothes too. So for example the basketball team can wear their sports jackets. So what do you have for your main subjects?''

I showed her my schedule. When she saw it she squeaked. I've never heard such a high sound before.

'' You have cheerleading? That's so cool. If you make it in the A-Team, we're gonna be teammates.''

She hugged me.

A-Team? What was that?

'' Care, I can't breathe!''

'' OH sorry, I'm just so happy.''

She let go of me.

'' So what is the A-Team?''

'' You don't know? There are different cheerleading teams, it depends on how good you are. The A-Team is the best one. It's also the cheerleading team of the basketball team. The others cheer for example for the soccer team or anything else. But the basketball team is the one and only sports team here at school. They always make it to the playoffs. Most times even further. But I'll help you to get in the team. Then you can also wear your cheerleading uniform and sweater and everything in school. But you have design, so you normally only need the uniform, because you can wear all the clothes you make in school. That's so cool.''

We talked the whole evening. She explained to me how the school worked and everything. It was good to hear it from someone who also knew about the social parts, unlike the principal.

25/11/2012, 3:59 pm, Damon's house

'' So where is your family?''

I looked at Damon and waited.

'' They're in LA.''

It was that easy for him to say, but he didn't say more about it.

'' And why are they in LA and you are here?''

I looked a bit angry. I had told him the whole story of my life and I had to ask every little question so that he would tell me.

'' I grew up here. My family live here. We were never that rich, but we survived. But then my Dad has this idea for a business and he made good money. Really a lot. We had lived in a small apartment, but then my Dad bought this house. He only wanted the best for me, so somehow he got me into our school, without me living there. But two years ago, business wasn't that good anymore here. Mystic Falls was just to small and too far away from all. My parents decided to move to LA. But like I said, I grew up here, my friend are here, my life. I didn't want to leave. So I talked them into letting me stay here. I never hoped of staying in that house, but before my Dad moved to LA looking for a house and in that time his business improved so that he could afford having two houses. He said it would be a good investigation and let me stay. My sister was only 11, so she left with them. But I was 16 and could stay. Now I'm 17 and still live alone. Once a week Liz comes here and helps with the cleaning. She also goes food shopping for me.''

Okay, I didn't expect that. He stayed here by his own choice. I've never thought about that.

'' Do you miss them?''

I really wanted to know. I didn't think I could have lived totally alone.

'' Yes I do. At the beginning it was terrible. I even asked my Mom to come here once and she did. But it got better. And after a year I'm used to it. And it's really cool most of the times. I have all of the benefits of a boarding school without the rules and sharing my room. And I can throw parties when I want to. So yeah I miss them, but if I had to choose again, I wouldn't make it different.''

He looked a bit sad, but just a tiny bit. I thought about what he just told me. He made living alone sound pretty good. What did I think, it was pretty good.

'' How often do you see them?''

'' Not that often. Because of basketball I can't visit them every holidays. They try to visit me as much as possible, but my sister has school too and there's always a company to run. So basically I only see them in summer, Christmas and maybe two times a year more. But hey, there's still Skype.''

Now he looked more sad, and I didn't want to see him only a tiniest bit sad, so I changed the subject.

'' We're nearly finished with our project and we still have a few weeks, so what do you think about watching a movie?''

'' Fine.''

'' So what's your favorite one?''

'' Hangover and yours?''

'' Why do you even ask? It's The Notebook. And your favorite series?''

'' The Big Bang Theory and yours?''

'' You're so average. Mine is One Tree Hill.''

I teased him.

'' Never heard of that:''

Was he kidding me? That was my all time favorite. And it was about basketball. At least in some parts, how could he not have heard about it. But I got an idea.  
We'd nearly finished our project and after that we didn't need to spend so much time together anymore, but I wanted to. So I would just make us a new project. Watching all nine seasons of One Tree Hill.

'' Seriously? It's the best show ever. We have to change that immediately! I'll be back in a few minutes.''

I got up and went to the door. Damon was confused. When I saw his face I laughed.

'' I'm just gonna pick up the DVD's at my room and then I'm back.''

And with that I left the house.

_So that's why Damon lives alone. I know not my best chapter. Like I already said, a lot of shit is going on lately and so my friends try to cheer me up. Because of that I didn't have much time to write. But your support always cheers me up so I try not to let you down._

_There probably won't be an update in the next two weeks, because I'm busy with work. If there is one I'll post it on twitter. So follow me there :D_

_I really appreciate your opinions anad also if you have any questions or suggestion just ask. For that review!_

_Thank you for all of the love ;)  
_

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	12. Chapter 12- Stay

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_I'm b-a-c-k. I know it's been long, but I've been busy and abroad, so I couldn't write._

_I also had some kind of writing blockade after writing part of this chapter, so it took me longer than normal to write it._

**Oohh the reason I hold on  
Oohh cause I need this hole gone  
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving  
Cause when you never you see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving**

**Not really sure how to feel about it  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can't live without you  
It takes me all the way  
I want you to stay... Stay...**

**-Rihanna Stay**

03/09/2012, 2:29 pm, boarding school design class room

So that was the last period of my first day. Until now I liked every single class and I hoped that would continue with this one. I wouldn't have cheerleading for two more days and then there would be the try-outs, but Caroline promised to practice with me. So design was my last class today. I was really excited because I didn't really know what to expect. I was standing in front of the classroom, the door still locked. There were only about six other girls with me and I didn't know if this was all or if the others just were late.

A small, a bit round woman came to the classroom and unlocked the door. She turned around and smiled at us.

'' Get in my beautiful young ladies. We'll have a lot of fun this year, won't we?''

Yep, I already liked her. She reminded me a bit of my grandma, but also a bit of the cat I'd had when I was younger. She seemed really nice and open minded.

After I got in the room I was shocked by it. But in a good way. The room was the most beautiful classroom I've ever seen. It had big windows and was really bright. The walls were covered with sketches, drawings and pictures of amazing dresses and outfits. There was a table with breathtaking fabrics on it in every possible color. There were also buttons, zippers and everything you needed for making clothes.

There were only ten tables in the room, but everyone of it was large, with a big sketchbook, pencils and a sewing machine on it. And next to every table was a mannequin to dress.

I choose a seat, still amazed by the room, when I looked at the mannequin at the front. It was wearing the most amazing dress I've ever seen. It was a pink one, with a heart shaped top and a loose, long skirt.

Then it was the first time I took a better look at my teacher, Mrs. Flowers. Her clothes seemed a bit crazy, but they still matched perfectly and somehow also fitted her. She wore a green, mustered top, loose, orange trousers and a red vest. It would have looked crazy and dumb on any other person, but it just fit her perfectly.

'' So, my name is Theophilia Flowers and I'm going to be your design teacher for the next school year. Our class is rather small, we're only seven pupil but that's perfect with me. So just that you know it, the first two to three weeks we're just going to sketch and then I'm going to teach you how to make a dress, top, trouser... just whatever you like to make.

Everyone of you will have to plan a big fashion show at the end of thee school year, which will present some of your clothes. But I will tell you the details when the time comes. And now we're gonna start with those sketches.''

After 45 more minutes the class was finished and I knew I chose the right subject. I already loved it.

26/11/2012, 12:38 am, Damon's house

'' Oh my god. Nathan is really an ass.''

I hit him playfully.

'' Don't you dare saying one bad word about him or I will probably never talk to you again.''

We've watched One Tree Hill for the past 7 hours and only took breaks to get some dinner and to go to the bathroom. We nearly watched the whole first season.

'' Why not Elena? Are you in love with him?''

He teased me. I knew he would.

'' No I'm not.'' But because I blushed I added. '' At least not anymore.''

He started to laugh.

'' I knew it. Elena Gilbert would always fall for the bad guy.''

He still laughed, now holding his stomach and nearly falling of the couch. But I wouldn't be me if I wouldn't counter with something.

'' First of all, Nathan is not the bad guy anymore he changed, second I'm not falling for the bad guys, I'm falling for the good looking ones and third at least now you don't have to be worrying about me falling for you, because you're neither bad nor good looking.''

I teased him. I knew it was a lie. He might not be bad, but he was definitely good looking, with his raven black hair and his piercing blue eyes. And because he was a basketball pro he had a body like a Greek god and I didn't need to fall for him anymore, I already did. He just didn't know. Yet.

He took his hand to his heart.

'' Ouch, Elena now I'm hurt. I have to admit I don't spend as much time on styling my hair as Stefan. But I never thought I was that ugly.''

Okay he knew I lied about that.

'' Okay now I definitely know that you love yourself.''

'' Didn't you already know that?'' He smirked at me. He still wanted to tease me. And I didn't know what to say to counter him anymore. I already gave all the good ones away.

So I just decided to not say anything and took the popcorn instead and put a handful in my mouth.

We sat in silence for a few seconds, both staring at the TV before Damon turned his attention back to me.

'' Do you really think I'm worried about you falling for me?''

I didn't see that one coming. I just told it to tease him. I never really meant to. And now I didn't have an answer. I just looked at him, not sure what to say. He looked at me like he expected me to answer, but I really didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I was ready for this. I didn't know if I was ready to be rejected or to be accepted. I just didn't know how I felt. I still looked at him. His blue eyes locked with mine and few a short moment everything was clear. I knew what I wanted. And because I knew it I moved closer to him. Our faces were so close, our lips only centimeters away and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him in that moment. My eyes moved out of his view and I stared on his lips. And in that moment I lost the clearness I had before. I still knew I desperately wanted to kiss him, but my head got in the way. There were now a thousand but what ifs and buts and I was shy again. Not sure what to do. I tried to avoid looking back into his eyes and looked at the wall next to his head instead. And there was my perfect getaway.

'' Shit, it's nearly 1 am. I should have left here 5 minutes ago.''

I started to panic. A bit because of the time. But I was sure I would make it just in time. But more about how close we haven been and how Damon just didn't do anything. If he didn't want to kiss me he could have at least stopped me. But he just sat there, looking at me in anticipation for an answer.

I jumped of the couch and got my purse.

'' I'm so sorry I have to go in the middle of the episode. But you have to promise me not to watch it without me, okay?''

I still wanted to spend time with him. And that was my guarantee I could. Because I've seen how much he liked watching it.

He looked disappointed. I didn't know if it was because of our nearly kiss, because I had to leave now or if it was because he couldn't watch One Tree Hill anymore.

But then he smiled and gave me a hug.

'' Promise, I wouldn't do that. Be safe and have a good night.''

And with that I went back.

05/09/2012, 5:48 pm, gym

I was so nervous. Only a few more minutes and then it would be my turn. I practiced the whole week with Caroline and she told me I'm a natural talent and that I shouldn't worry to get in the team. But I still was. I mean, there were only four spots and I desperately needed one. Not only for my reputation which I started to build up this week, but also I recognized how much I loved cheerleading and also how much I liked Caroline. So getting in the team was the best way to be popular, dance and spend time with my new friend. I now just had to make it.

'' Elena Gilbert, please.'' Rebekah announced my name. I'd already met her before, because I spent lunch with Caroline and she introduced me to all of her friends, who are all in the squad.

I still was nervous. I tried not to show it, but I don't know how effective that was. I went to the spotlight in the middle and waited for the music to start. I looked at the jury. There were of course Bekah and Care, but also Isobel, Katherine and Pearl. I knew all of them and they all smiled cheerfully at me. I think they all hoped I would be good enough to make it into the team, because they already liked me somehow.

So then the music started and at the beginning I was really concentrated on what Caroline taught me. The steps were easy to do, but in the same time looked really difficult and only experienced cheerleaders would know them. But as I mentioned, Caroline thought I was a natural talent, which maybe was true.

So when I heard the first refrain of the song I forgot about all my worries and nervousness and just became one with the song. I danced as if there was now tomorrow. After the song was finished I just had to say some cheers for the basketball team, the Mystic Fall's Ravens and then was done.

From then on I could only wait. I'd given my best and hopefully it would be enough. I went back to my place and watched the others.

When I randomly looked to Caroline she saw it and smiled at me with a bright and big smile and the I knew I made it. It wasn't official yet, but I still knew. And I was happy, like I hadn't been in a long time. I still had to wait until everyone was finished and the team finished discussing.

'' So all of you were very encouraged and you were all good. But some of you were a bit better then others. So we found four girls for the team and I will now announce them. All the others, please don't be sad. I'm sure the B- and C-team will be happy to have you in their team and you still can try next year. So now to the four lucky girls. Rose, Greta, Emily and Elena. Congratulations, you are in the team.''

I knew it, but still was so happy I jumped up and ran to Caroline. Before I could think about it I hugged her.

'' Thank you so much for practicing with me. I don't know what I've done without it.''

'' Elena, now I'm the one that can't breathe.''

I let go of her and started to laugh.

'' I'm sorry Care.''

'' It's okay Lena.''

And the she hugged me again and we were both happy.

_Less then a month and the it's TVD thursday again. I don't know how I /we survived it, but we did. And can't wait for season five after all the Delena pictures I've seen so far. So for all of us, please October hurry up._

_So to the story, just be patient with Delena, they'll have a few more little moments until they come together. I already know that moments and how they'll come together. Everythings planned I just have to find the time to write it. I'm back to school now and basketbal starts again so I'm really busy, but I promise I'll find time._

_So I changed the mascot into a raven. One reason is of One Tree Hill, but also because Damon is a raven in the TVD books (I never really got it in the show). So I found that kind of funny. I hope you don't hate me for it._

_Thank you for the support I got while I wasn't updating. It meant a lot._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	13. Chapter 13- Belong

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Next chapter :) I try to upload once a week but I'm not sure if I can so please be patient._

**I wasn't taught this way,  
With a thousand things to say.  
I was born with a broken heart.  
What I'd give for that first night when you were mine.  
Thought you were mine.**

**So I'll put this cigarette to bed,**  
**Pull some sheets from off you side.**  
**I put my arm around you safe in the night.**

**Cary Brothers Belong**

Sunday, 27/11/2012, 9:30 am, boarding school

That was the only thing that really sucked at boarding school. Breakfast.

It wasn't that it's not good it's just the time I hated about it. You could eat from 6:45 am to 9:30 am. And weekends were no exception.

So this meant no breakfast for me today. I was just so tired when I got home from Damon last night and didn't hear my alarm in the morning. And now I'd ran to the cafeteria to be there the exact minute they closed.

Hopefully I had some cereal bars left in my room. Otherwise I would be starving until lunch.

I just went back to my room when I bumped into someone. I started to smile because of how often I accidentally ran into Damon. But when I looked up it wasn't him.

It was Trevor.

'' Look who we got here.''

I decided to ignore him. So I just went on walking, but he immediately took my wrist.

'' Where do you think you're going Elena? I think we have something to talk about.''

'' I don't think so Trevor. I think you said enough the last time I saw you and I know you got what you wanted, because now everyone thinks I'm even a bigger slut because I slept with you, which I didn't do. And I know that's all because of you. So I have nothing to say to you. Just let me go.''

I tried to free my arm, but he didn't let go. Strengthened his grip on me.

'' Trevor stop it! You are hurting me.''

He really was. My fingers started to get numb because they didn't get any blood anymore and I cried out in pain.

'' Nanana, I think I can make you cry other things out in a more pleasuring way. Because Elena, you know, I decided to give you a second chance. Maybe it was just not your day the last time we were at my room. But I know you want me.''

I really couldn't believe what I just heard. After everything he throw at my head the last time I saw him and after what i told him then and also now, he still didn't get it.

'' Trevor are you really that dumb. I would never sleep with you, even if you'd been the last man on planet. What do you think would make me want to? The way you treat me? Yeah, hurting my hand is definitely what I like. Or calling me a slut? A total turn on. So now just let go of me and leave me alone!'' I screamed. I was in pain and hungry and he just made me totally mad.

I tried to free my wrist again. But even if I think it wasn't possible he strengthened his grip again.

The pain was nearly unbearable but I tried not to start to scream. I didn't want to make a scene. But I couldn't stop the tears forming in my eyes.

'' Please Trevor let me go.'' I begged. Something I never did. But it just hurt so much and I started to get scared of what he could do. Would he force me to sleep with him? I still could shout, maybe someone would hear me and help me then.

'' Oh sweet Elena. Now you are begging. That's what I want to see in bed with you. So stop being the prude you turned in and pull out your old self. You know you want it.''

He still wouldn't let me go. Should I scream now? But I really didn't want to make a scene. That would cost me my reputation. The one were I was independent and strong. But I could also...

'' Okay you got me Trevor. I want you. You're the only one that really knows me. The new me? That's just a mask. But i can't hold it up anymore. I need you.''

I tried to let my voice sound seductively and looked at him alluring.

With my free hand I stroke his cheek and I could see his mood change. His eyes turned dark of lust and I really hoped he would go of my hand now, because he was so horny I didn't know if I would be strong enough to fight him. He was still taller and stronger then me.

'' There's my bad girl. I knew you were in there somewhere. So your room or mine?''

He let go of my wrist. That was my chance.

'' None. You are really dumb.''

but before I could turn around and get away I felt a horrible pain in my cheek. It was worse then the one in my wrist had been. This freaking bastard had really slapped me. How could he?

I started crying and the tears started to flow again. I sank to the ground holding my hurting side of my face.

Before I could look back up I heard the sound of a fist hitting flesh and then I heard Trevor screaming.

'' You freaking bastard. You will regret this. I swear it to you. And you Elena, we are not done yet.''

And then I heard him storming away. The next second I felt the presence of someone near me. I finally found the courage to look up again and then I saw him. My eyes met his blue ones and I throw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. And there I was, sobbing in his arms and he tightening his hold on me.

Damon Salvator.

My personal savior.

Monday, 08/10/2012, 3:47 pm, my room (boarding school)

'' Caroooooliiiiiiiiiiiinnnneeee!''

I screamed, I was so happy. I just opened the door to our room when I shouted out for her.

And then I saw she wasn't even in the room. Just when my mood started to change, she opened the door to our bathroom.

'' What Elenaaaaaaaaa?'' She sounded a bit annoyed. And then I saw why. She was shaving her legs and had shaving cream on half of her right one.

'' I really need your help, but I think it can wait until you're finished.''

'' Good.'' With that she closed the door again and I had time to think about what I had to do. After five long weeks of sketching clothes and learning how to sew Mrs. Flowers told us that we would now start making our first own dress. I was happy, when not more. I just had so many sketches and couldn't decide which one I should take for my first dress. It had to be something special, but still, shouldn't be too difficult to make. It was my first dress.

I knew I would have to wait a few minutes for Caroline, so I decided to already take out my designs and look through them. Maybe i could kick some out before I showed them to Care. And I have to admit, I was also a bit nervous. I didn't show my sketches to anyone besides my teacher and Caroline had a good taste in fashion, so it would be hard if she didn't like them.

Five minutes later I excluded already half of the designs when Caroline came out of the bathroom.

'' Okay Elena, what do you need my help with?''  
'' Mrs. Flowers told us we would be making our first dress out of one of our own designs and I just cannot pick one out.''  
'' Then let me see them!''  
She came closer to my table and I handed her the batch of papers.

'' Elena these are like 50 papers! How did you draw so much in onlly five weeks?''  
'' Actually, these are only half of what I draw. I already decided against the other ones.''  
She looked at me in disbelieve. I couldn't believe it myself that I made that many sketches. It was just that after I started I just couldn't stop.

Caroline started to look at the first design. I watched her face closely, still nervous. I wanted to see her reaction. And then I saw it. Her eyes brightened and her lips built a little smile.

'' I really like this one. It's totally beautiful. But let me see the others first.''  
And she really looked at all of them. After one hour and at least thirty

_'' Oh my god Elena, that dress is amazing'' _and _'' Elena, you should just quit school and start designing for a big company'', _we decided on one dress. It was one on my favourites from the beginning. It was strapless, ended at the middle of the tights, had a heart shaped neckline and was loose. It was planned to be in a flower pattern and with a belt at the waist. It was claerly a summer dress, but it was perfect for the beginning.

So it was all settled. I would start making my first dress tomorrow and I couldn't wait for it.

I had to promise to make Caroline one too some other time, but this one was especially for me.

Saturday, 28/03/2002, 10:54 am, animal shelter

'' Okay Elena, Jeremy, you have to decide on one animal you both like okay? We will really get only one.''

I already knew what I wanted. A puppy. Bonnie had one. Her name was Tara and she was so little and she was white with black dots. Bonnie's Mom said it was a Dalmatians, but I didn't know what that was. Jeremy took my hand and looked at me with his little eyes.

'' Come on Lena. I want a kitten, pleaseeeee.''

'' No Jeremy I'm sorry, we will get a puppy, just like Bonnie.''

So I pulled him to the spot where I've seen the dogs. And there was a little light brown one, with big blue eyes.

'' Look Jer. This one looks so beautiful.''

My 4-year old brother looked at the little dog and then started to cry.

'' Noooooooo. I want a kitten. Please Mommy. I don't want a dog.

My parents just looked at us unsure what to do.

I looked at my little brother. His face was already covered with tears and his eyes were puffy and red. I hated seeing him cry. I still was his big sister and I had to protect him. But I wanted a puppy.

I looked at him again. Okay, maybe my brother was more important.

'' Jeremy don't cry, please. I hate it when you cry. I promise, we'll get a kitten. But only if I get to name it.''

Jeremy eyes brightened.

'' Really? Thank you Elena.''

And then he hugged me and we went to the cats.

'' Lena, how do you like this one?''

Jeremy pulled me to one of the kittens. It was one of the smallest cats I've ever seen. It was something between brown and orange but had a black face and black dots on its legs. Its eyes were in a beautiful green. My absolutely favorite color.

'' I love it. Daddy, is it a boy or a girl?''

Daddy came over and kneed next to me. He looked at the sign next to the cat.

'' It's a girl. You wanna take it.

Jeremy and I both nodded.

'' And we're going to name it Yuki.''

_Okay, so I decided to add the days because it was a bit confusing without them. I'm not planning on adding them to the previous chapters but if you really want me to I'll think about it. I didn't plan on updating today either, bcause you know it's Friday the 13th and yes I believe bad things happen on Fridays the 13th s. But I finished today and I'm not sure if I'm able to be at my computer tomorrow and I really didn't want you to wait until Sunday._

_Next chapter is what comes after Elena's encounter with Trevor and after Damon saved her. I actually wanted to put it in this chapter but it would have been too long. So I put the design part in it, because this will be a big part of Elena. ;D The part about Elena's childhood was just something to lighten the mood and hopefully to love her even more. (For me that's not possiible, I already adore her)._

_Thank you for all the positive feedback I got. I love you guys._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	14. Chapter 14- Shelter

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Next chapter. I got inspired today and wrote it all at once. One of the songs that inspired me was Shelter ;D Okay the whole Birdy album inspired me, but that song in particular._

**Can I be, was I there  
It felt so crystal in the air  
I still want to drown whenever you leave  
Please teach me gently how to breathe**

**And I'll cross oceans like never before**

**So you can feel the way I feel it too  
And I'll send images back at you  
So you can see the way I feel it too**

**Birdy Shelter**

Sunday, 27/11/2012, 9:58 am, boarding school

I was still in his arms, still crying, his arms still caressing my back. It felt perfect, but what just happened shocked me too much to feel well.

'' Elena, do you think you can stand up. We should get you to your room.''

Damon's word pulled me back into reality. And for the first time I really looked up. It was like a miracle that no one was around. Maybe it was because it was Sunday.

I didn't want to leave my position, but I could see Damon's point. It wasn't the best to sit on the floor in the middle of a school hallway. So I nodded and let go of him. He got up before me and hold his hand out for me to take it. After he helped me up, he lay his arm over my shoulder to comfort me and guided me to my room. When I recognized our direction I spoke for the first time.

'' Damon, please, I don't want to be in this building at the moment.''

My tears still streamed down my face when he looked at me and then nodded.

'' Okay, my house it is then.''

And so he walked me back to his house. I tried to keep my mind distracted with everything other then what just happened. So I thought about my designs. What could I do next? Maybe I could do another one for Care?

I was so deep in thoughts that I didn't even recognize we were already at the house and Damon situated me on the couch. Only when he was about to leave I noticed and started to sob again.

'' Damon please don't leave me!''

He then turned around, looking more worried than before.

'' Oh Elena.''

That was all he said before he came back to me and hugged me again.

For the first time I let my mind think about what happened and came to one conclusion.

'' It's all my fault. Everything is my fault.''

I started to cry harder and tried to tighten my grip around Damon. But he pushed me away and looked me in the eyes. I've never seen him more devastated and more shocked. Even right after the attack he didn't look like this.

'' Elena Gilbert, don't you dare saying or even thinking such a thing. It's not your fault. That's not even close to the truth. It's not your fault that Trevor is such a sick person, who believes it's okay to treat you like this. You did nothing wrong. Do you get that?''

I just shook my head. It was my fault. If I had handled things differently from the beginning after I came here, this wouldn't have happened. Everyone believed I was a slut, and because of that I didn't deserve anything else.

'' It was my fault. I deserve it. I deserved every bit of it. If I had just not told Finn to tell everyone, they wouldn't think I'm a slut. But I did, so I deserve it.''

Now Damon looked angry.

'' Elena, I have no idea what you are talking about, and what happened with Finn, but I know that you are one of my best friends and that after the short time that we now each other. You are one of the most caring and sweetest persons I know and you are anything than a slut. And now listen to me, you absolutely did not deserve this. Do you get it. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS!''

He was so angry he nearly shouted. I think he was really mad at me for saying things like this, but after everything, how should I believe that I did deserve happiness. I just got over the fact that my parents and my little brother, to whom I've sworn that I would always protect him, had died because of me. I opened up, so that I had now two awesome friends. It was all a bit too much for me. And today Trevor was my end. He was the drop of water that got the drum to overrun.

For a long time I didn't say anything. I just thought about it, Damon still looking at me. Okay maybe I should've really acted differently with Finn, but everything after that wasn't really my fault. It was gossip and what others wanted to see in me. And still, that didn't give anyone the right to force me to do things, let alone to hit me. Oh my god he hit me.

And after I remembered my cheek hurt again. I touched it with my hand. Bad mistake. The touch hurt so bad, that I started to cry again. Maybe I'd never even stopped. But Damon noticed.

'' Elena, this conversation is not over, but I'm going to get you some ice to put on that. And we still have a lot more to talk about!''

So he left the room, but was back in a blink, with the ice in his hand. His face had softened again when he touched my cheek with the ice. It immediately felt better.

'' Thank you.''

I smiled weakly at him and out my hand to my face to hold the ice by myself. But even after I hold it myself, he didn't let go.

He he brushed the tears on the other side of my face away.

'' So can you think clearly again now? Or do still have the delusional idea that it was your fault and that you deserved it?''

He smirked at me, trying to lighten the mood. But I could see that his smile didn't reach his eyes. He was still serious and concerned.

'' I think I believe you. It wasn't my fault and no one deserves something like this. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't. So thank you.''

I really didn't know what would have happened. I don't know if I could have stopped Trevor myself, so I was really glad he came. But why was he at school first place?

'' Damon, what did you do at school?''

He looked away, he clearly didn't want to tell me.

'' It's not about me right now.''

I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

'' Damon tell me.''

'' Okay, but don't make to much out of it. I had morning practice again and I missed by oversleeping. So I had longer.''

My eyes opened in shocked. He still had morning practice because of me and now he also missed it and had to practice more because of me. I had to stop doing this to him. Whatever it took me, he wouldn't miss one more minute of practice because of me.

'' Damon-'' I started, but he interrupted me.

'' Elena, don't say anything. I'm glad I did. Otherwise I wouldn't have been there at the right time. So let us both just be happy I have such a deep sleep.''

I sighed. I know i wouldn't win this one, so I just let it go.

'' And besides Elena, we have more important things to discuss.''

I knew we had. I just didn't want to.

'' What should we do about Trevor, Damon? He threatened us.''

'' Elena, is that even a question. He tried to force himself on you and he hit you. We have to tell Principal Lockwood about it. He will get suspended.''

I didn't know if I wanted that. I mean, yes what he did was horrible, but this could destroy his future. And his parents paid really a lot of money for this school.

'' Do we really have to?''

'' Elena, we do. He should be glad we aren't including police.''

'' Okay, fine. But can you come with me when I tell Mr. Lockwood?''

I really didn't know if I would go through with it, if he wasn't there with me. I would probably have to face Trevor again and I wasn't sure if I could do that alone.

'' Of course I can. And I am also a witness. So I'm going to be there for you. But I'm a bit curious. What was that about Finn you mentioned?''

I hadn't planned on saying that earlier. It just slipped my tongue. That was the only part I left out when I told him everything. Only Caroline knew it. The story of how I became the slut of school.

Sunday, 04/09/2012, 5:46 pm, Finn's room

Finn seemed really nice. After he helped me on Friday I saw him yesterday at lunch. We got to talk a lot and he really seemed nice. Although I wasn't into him, it would help me getting popular. He was popular himself. Being a senior, member of the basketball team he was part of the in-crowd. If I was befriended with him, I could be a part of the school high society, too. That was the reason I agreed to his invitation to his room.

Turned out to be bad decision, but back then I didn't see it like that. I just saw my opportunity.

'' Do you want to drink something?''

'' No thank you, I'm fine.''

I walked around in the room. Trevor had a single room, which was really seldom. He had a lot of pictures of the basketball team in here. I didn't know most part of it, after only being here for two days.

'' So Elena, why don't you sit down?''

I did as he asked me and sat down on his bed next to him. I still looked around in the room. It looked a lot like mine, only smaller. When I turned around I saw that he looked at me.

He brushed away a stray of my hair.

'' You look beautiful, do you know that?'' I blushed. I wasn't used to getting compliments. I've never had a date, let alone a boyfriend. The closest I came to that was with Kol. But as I didn't went, it didn't count so, yes I was inexperienced.

'' Thank you.''

He still looked at me, his hand now stroking my cheek. It didn't feel right. I didn't feel comfortable. But I couldn't back away. He was 18 and he was like in the royal family of school. Backing away would be my social death. And that before school even started. So backing away wasn't an option.

I looked at him shyly, not sure what to do. When I didn't do anything, he leaned closer, his lips nearly touching mine. I've seen this in movies. I knew what I had to do, so I got closer until our lips touched. When they did, he took over. The kiss wasn't bad, but it still didn't feel right. I expected my first real kiss to somehow feel incredible. And this kiss, it didn't feel like it. I just waited for Finn to end it, but it didn't seem like this would be in the near future. He played on my lips with his tongue until I opened them. He took the opportunity and slid it in my mouth to deepen the kiss. It didn't make it better, it made it worse. And then without a warning his hands slid under the hem of my shirt and he tried to get it off. I stopped him with my hand, but instead of stopping he moved to the zipper of my jeans. I didn't want this.

I ended the kiss and created some distance between us.

'' Finn stop. I don't want this!''

'' Come on Elena. Don't be a prude. I asked you to come to my room and you agreed. You know what was to come.''

'' No I didn't and Finn I really don't want this. I just want to be friends.''

'' I have enough friends. And I didn't lie when I told you that you are beautiful. And it's just sex.''

For him maybe. But not for me. I was still a virgin. Sex meant a lot. It wasn't just something I did for fun.

'' No Finn. I really don't want it.''

'' But Elena-''

'' I'm a virgin.'' I blurted it out, the only way to convince him.

He looked shocked. He didn't expect me to be one. Okay, maybe my clothes didn't help me. I wore a really short skirt and a red strapless, skin-tight top.

In that moment the door opened and one of his friends came in.

'' Oh sorry I didn't know you were busy.''

He smiled with a big dumb smile.

I looked down at me. My shirt was still displace and the button of my jeans was open.

I jumped up in shock and fixed my clothes.

'' It's okay. I should be going anyway.''

I ran out of the room without looking at both of them. When I was about 20 feet away I heard Finn's friend asked.

'' Did you two have sex?''

I stopped in my moves.

'' What do you think buddy? Of course we did.''

I was shocked. He lied. But I still didn't turn around to make it right.

I never spoke to him again.

And on the first day of school everyone talked about it. They didn't even know me and believed to know me because of a lie. Yes this was like any other highschool.

_So I wrote the whole chapter today. I'm proud ;D I hope to write another one this week. I got a few really positive reviews this week. Thank you for that :) _

_I can't believe that in less than 3 weeks TVD is back. I miss it soooooooo badly._

_There isn't really anything about the story at the moment, only that the conversation between Elena and Damon will continue next chapter and that he will do something extremely sweet. ( Trust me!)_

_So thank you again._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	15. Chapter 15- Same Love

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Next chapter. I'm still listening to Birdy and waiting for her new album. I just didn't want to overhelm you with her songs. :)_

**Chapter 15 Same Love**

**And I can't change  
Even if I tried  
Even if I wanted to  
My love, my love, my love  
She keeps me warm  
[…]**

**We have to change us  
Whatever god you believe in  
We come from the same one  
Strip away the fear  
Underneath it's all the same love  
About time that we raised up  
Love is patient, **

**love is kind  
**

**- Macklemore feat. Ryan Lewis Same Love**

Sunday, 27/11/2012, 11:39 am, Damon's house

I had told Damon what happened with Finn back then. When I looked at him now, he just seemed as he wasn't here.

'' Damon?''

He didn't react at first. He just stared without really looking at anything, but after a few seconds he shook his head and was back.

'' Sorry. So I knew you didn't sleep with any of them, so this shouldn't shock me. But it does. I know Finn and I didn't think he would do something like that. But earlier you said you shouldn't have told him to tell everyone. I don't get it. You didn't and you still blame yourself for it.''

I knew what he meant. I didn't tell him that, but I never asked him to tell the truth either, so somehow it was also my fault.

'' I never stopped him to say it. It's also my fault.''

'' Elena, please stop blaming yourself for everything. Trust me it wasn't your fault. How about you just forget about Finn and every other guy? I know you didn't sleep with them, Caroline knows and clearly you know. So why worry about it?''

Yes why worry about it. Only the rest of school believed I did. They all believed I was a slut. Yep, there wasn't anything to worry about.

'' Damon, I know it shouldn't bother me anymore. Believe me I know that, but it isn't easy to forget it when you get reminded of it every day. It's not like all the others would forget about it or stop picking on me because of it. It's not that they try to be mean to me on purpose, at least the most aren't, they just think it's the truth. Even Caroline believed it at some point, before I talked with her. I told her a thousand times that I didn't sleep with anyone, but when you hear it daily you believe it some time. So Damon it's not easy. It shouldn't get to me anymore but it does. And trust me when I say I tried to change their minds and tell them the truth. But they can like me how much they want, they didn't believe me and I can understand them. Who would you believe? Some new girl, which is the only one who says this side of the story? Or the guys who a popular in school and which are clearly majority?''

He looked at me sadly. He understood that it wasn't easy for me. And I think he also understood that I couldn't change it and that it wouldn't change soon by itself. He looked defeated.

I was near crying again. I was just a emotional mess today. But I think I had the right to be so, after everything that happened to me today.

'' Damon, do you really think I want this? Do you think I like being called a slut? I hate it. I hate it more than everything else. But it's too late to change it. I can't change it anymore. I wish I could, but that ship has long since sailed. And now I have to accept, what I am for them. But I would do everything to change that.''

I broke down again. Like I said I was a mess. And this confession was just another thing I tried to lock inside of me. And Damon was again the one who made me come clean with it. Yes Damon, who else should be capable of it?

I was a sobbing mess again. And the only thing which could comfort me were Damon's arms. And that's were I found me. In Damon's embrace with no idea how I got there. He was caressing my back at whispered soothing words into my ear.

'' Elena, I promise you I will make it better okay? Do you believe me? I will make it better for you okay?''

I didn't know how he would do it. It was nearly impossible to change anything, but I felt safe with Damon. I trusted him with everything. So I also trusted him with this one and nodded in his neck.

Saturday, 08/10/2012, 7:46 pm, gym

Okay, now was the time. It was the first game of the season, and so it was my first game at all. It wasn't only the first basketball game I would see after the accident, it was also the first basketball game when I was a cheerleader.

After over a month of practice this was what I've worked for. Okay I loved it, but still I wanted the others to think that I was good at it.

That was still the main reason I did this. Loving it was just a nice side effect.

And this uniform was just perfect for the reputation I already got. It was not what I had planned but I had to accept it and just go with it.

'' Everything's good Elena. Don't be nervous, you're going to be great.''

Caroline tried to calm me down. She knew me better than I thought. But before I could worry about that anymore, it was time to go out there.

'' This year we have a lot of new faces in the squad. So just relax and enjoy the show.'' I heard the commentator announce and then the music set in. That was my signal.

I knew every single step by heart and I knew how to dance. I wouldn't have made it in the A-team otherwise.

When I was on the court it felt good, natural. But not because of the court, but because dancing felt so. I was so into the dance that I didn't notice how full it was until our performance was over.

When it was I looked around. Everyone seemed enthusiastic. They all clapped and shouted.

Standing in the middle of it felt amazing. But then I remembered I had to leave the court.

After the game started I stood at the sideline cheering for the team. The whole time there was a bright smile on my face.

Tuesday, 29/11/2012, 1:05 pm, cafeteria

The whole literature class Damon acted weird. He couldn't concentrate on our project. Okay, we were as good as finished but still, normally he took it serious. It seemed like he was nervous. And now on our way to lunch he still was like he walked on hot bricks.

I already asked him what was wrong, but he said he didn't know what I meant. And now the closer we got to the cafeteria, the more nervous and tensed he became.

What the hell was wrong with him?

We were nearly there when I couldn't bear the tension anymore.

'' Damon stop!'' I stopped walking and he turned around to look at me.

'' What Elena? I'm actually really hungry. Let's just go eating.''

'' Damon, don't do that. I know that something is up. You wouldn't be like that otherwise. And after everything we went through in the short time we know each other I really thought our trust was don't shut me out. Just tell me if something is wrong, please.''

'' Elena, I trust you. But you have to trust me if I tell you that I'm fine and that nothing at all is wrong, okay?''

I wasn't convinced. I knew that something was up, but he didn't want to tell me and I wouldn't push him. I wanted to trust him, but I just couldn't at this point. Instead of trust, I just had to let go this one and wait until he was ready to talk. Hopefully soon.

'' Okay.'' I nodded and continued our way to the cafeteria. I went straight to the counter and got a salad. When I was on my way to my usual table I noticed that Damon wasn't with me. Where did he go?

I was still looking for him when I nearly walked into Ben. Oh no. I didn't want to talk to him.

'' Elena, can I talk to you for a second?''

Oh god, he really wanted to talk.

'' Sure, let's sit down.''

So we sat down at the next free table and I put down my salad.

'' Okay, what do you want to talk about?''

I was a bit pissed. At first Damon didn't want to tell me what was wrong, now he mysteriously disappeared and now Ben wanted to talk with me.

'' I wanted to apologize.'' He looked at me guilty. For what did he want to apologize?

'' It was wrong of me to lie to everyone about sleeping with you when I clearly didn't and I'm sorry about that.''

Okay that took me by surprise. I never expected him to say that. Normally they've never regretted anything.

'' Just that you know, I already told a lot of people that I lied and I know all the others did too. But I also know that they are all sorry too and they're going to tell the truth to everyone at school. That was all I wanted to say. I hope you don't hate me forever.''

WHAT? They all wanted to tell everyone the truth. What changed their minds. There was never even one, who did it. And now all at once.

'' I don't know what to say to you. I really appreciate your apology, but I'm not sure if it changes everything.''

'' I know that Elena. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I hope it will get better now. Bye.''

With that he went away and let me back stunning. I still couldn't believe what I heard.

'' Ehhm.''

What? When I looked up I saw Finn. Yep the one and only.

'' Elena, I want to talk.''

'' Finn I know what you're gonna say to me, but-''

'' Please Elena, just listen, okay?''

He waited for an answer, but when I nodded he went on.

'' I can't imagine what you went through because of me. I know I was the one with whom it all started. But Elena please believe me if I tell you that I never meant to hurt you with it. Back then I thought I would get to you by it, because you didn't sleep with me. But when I saw what I set off with it I regretted it. But I was too ashamed and maybe also too scared to do something about it and so I just let them believe it. I know I can't change the past anymore but I try and change the future for you. I'm gonna tell everyone that I didn't sleep with you, because you didn't want to. I'll also tell them that I don't believe that you slept with any of the others. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I hope I can at lead make things better for you. So Elena, what I wanted to say is that I'm truly sorry about how I handled things and what I did and that I regret everything I did.''

And again I was left stunning. I didn't expect such an apology. Why today? What had happened? I really didn't get it. What was wrong with those guys today. First Damon and now-

Damon. He promised he would make it better and now it was. I had no idea how he managed to do that, but it worked. Hopefully people would see me in a different light now.

I looked around for Damon and found him sitting at our usual table, grinning in my direction. He watched everything. Okay, now I felt bad for not trusting him. He had been nervous because he knew what would happen.

I went over to him and smiled. I sat down on my spot next to him and kissed him on the cheek, without thinking twice about it. I loved the way his skin felt under my lips. So perfect. But now was not the time for thoughts like that. After kissing his cheek I moved ,y lips to his ear and whispered

'' Thank you'' to him.

His eyes brightened and his smile grew bigger.

_So I gave my story to a friend who begged me for weeks to let her read it. She liked it, but that's not the point. It's because of her I got the idea to make a YouTube playlist with the songs of my chapters. I try to post the link on my profile._

_if you have a better version of Belong by Cary Brothers please send me the link! I couldn't find one._

_Thanks to her for the idea. Also a big Thanks to Karen for always writing reviews, I really appreciate it a lot and it's because of people like you I actually write this story._

_I know that you all want Delena right now. But please be a bit more patient, it will come at some point, it just takes time. There are some cute moments between them in near future._

_Thank you all for the support._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	16. Chapter 16- Love Story

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_There's the update._

**Chapter 16 Love Story**

**Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone  
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story, baby, just say yes**

**Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel**  
**This love is difficult, but it's real**  
**Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess**  
**It's a love story, baby, just say yes**

**-Taylor Swift Love Story**

Wednesday, 30/11/2012, 3:20 pm, boarding school

Okay that was it. Just a ribbon and then the dress would be finished. I was excited. It wasn't that it was the first dress for me to finish, but it was the first dress I didn't make for myself.

No, this one was for Caroline. I didn't feel to make her one earlier, because I just didn't have a lot of experience and didn't want it to get ugly. So I've waited. And now I made this.

Care didn't know about the dress. I was afraid it wouldn't be as I imagined and that I couldn't give it to her. But now, when I looked at the dress in front of me, I felt positive she would like it.

I had had her measures, because I practice taking them with her.

'' That's an amazing dress Elena.''

I looked around to see Mrs. Flowers standing there. She looked up and down the dress and smiled.

'' Thank you Mrs. Flowers.'' I smiled brightly. I always felt great when she complimented my work. She did it often with me, but still.

'' But Elena, ''

She looked at me worried. No, what was wrong. She just said it was good. What would come now?

'' I think, you took the measures wrong. It looks a bit short. And I don't think this color will suit you.''

She still looked worried, but also apologizing. My face lightened up and I smiled again.

'' I agree with you, that dress won't fit me. But that's because it's not for me. It's for my best friend, Caroline.''

Now Mrs. Flowers face also lightened.

'' Caroline is this cheeleader friend of yours, the one with blonde hair, isn't she?''

I nodded.

'' Than I think this dress will suit her perfectly. If you want you can take a photo of it now, for your folder and then take it to her.''

Now I smiled even brighter. Normally we had to leave the clothes here for at least half a week after finishing, so that Mrs. Flowers could look at them. But that would be the best surprise, if I could give it to Caroline now.

'' Are you sure?''

'' Yes I am. Now take that photo and give the dress to your friend!''

I nodded and hurried to take a photo. I had to remember that I would need to take a picture of Caroline in the dress, too.

After taking the photo, I packed the dress in a bow and ran to my room.

'' Caroline?''

She looked up from the work she was doing and saw my big smile and the box in my hands.

'' Elena, that's so unfair. You have a new dress again, which is probably amazing. And what do I have? Homework.''

She pouted and looked adorable.

'' So as you are so busy, you don't want to see your new dress?''

She glared at me with bright eyes.

'' What do you mean with my dress?''

'' I mean exactly what you think. I made a dress for you.''

Our smiles grew bigger at the same time. And then Caroline screamed in a loud pitch, jumped up from her seat and came over to me. When she hugged me, I really couldn't breathe anymore, but only for a few seconds. When she let go of me, her face glowed.

'' Can I see it now, please Elena?''

'' Of course.''

So I opened the box and she screamed again. This time even louder.

'' Elena this is so beautiful. I'm going to try it on okay?''

She went to the bathroom before I could even nod.

I think she changed as quick as never before. And when she came out, she looked stunning.

The light blue of the dress suited her perfectly. The top of the dress was really tight and also at the bottom the dress was tight when it ended on her thighs. In between it was a bit loose, but not that much. The dress stress all her curves and made her look sexy. But because of the big ribbon on her back, it also fitted perfectly to Caroline's sweet side.

When I looked back to her face she had tears in her eyes. She ran back to me and hugged me again.

'' Thank you Elena, thank you so so much. I love it and I love you. Thank you.''

I hugged her back.

'' You're welcome. And I love you, too Care.''

I smiled at her widely and then I remembered something.

'' Would you mind if I took a picture of you in that dress for my folder?''

'' Are you kidding? You can take a thousand pictures of me in that dress.''

She giggled.

After I took out my camera and she did her make up and hair look even more incredibly we started the shooting. After about one hour of taking amazing, funny and childish photos of Caroline in the dress and also sometimes me, Caroline's fell down. I immediately noticed.

'' Caroline what's wrong?''

'' I just realized I now have this amazing dress, but no occasion to wear it.''

She pouted and I started to laugh.

'' Caroline, there is always a party somewhere, you will get your chance.''

And in the exact moment our phones both beeped. I had a new message from Damon:

Party at my house on Saturday after the game!

My smile grew wide.

'' Caroline, I think there is your occasion.''

Thursday, 28/08/2010, 8:34 am, my room

What the hell? Who the hell was calling me at 8:30 in the morning. It wasn't like that I wanted to enjoy my last week of holidays.

I looked at the caller ID. Bonnie.

'' Bonnie, do you know what time it is? Why are you even awake at this time?''

'' Good morning to you too Elena. Did you already check your mail?''

Her voice sounded happily, even enthusiastically. Okay, she was more of a morning person than me, but still.

'' Bonnie, why the hell should I have checked my mail. I was happily asleep, before you decided to disturb that by calling me. So I'm not that awake right now and because of that just spill out what you wanted to say.''

I was still lying under my covers. Hopefully I could fell back to sleep after we finished.

'' Okay Elena. I am sorry. But my time table was in the mail and I wanted to check if we have any courses together. But I think that you're in a horrible mood so just call me later.''

What our time tables? We talked about this since we've known each other. It was always our dream to go the same high school, in the same classes and play basketball together. And this was our chance. Freshman year would change everything for us. We would finally be able to do everything together, including school.

'' No Bonnie, I'm sorry. I just didn't get much sleep last night. I shouldn't have snapped at you like this. How about I get changed and you come over so we can compare our time tables?''

'' Okay, I'll be at your house in 15 minutes. Ciao Lena.''

'' See you Bon-Bon.''

As soon as she hung up I got up and walked over to my closet. I had my Mum take me shopping last week to buy proper clothes for highschool. I even got her to buy me some heels, but I had to promise not to tell my Dad. For him, I was still the little princess like when I was five.

I chose some blue shorts and a light red top. Then I went downstairs, trying not to wake Jer. I would kill me if I'd disturbed him this early. I didn't bother eating breakfast, but instead walked directly to the mail. There were about ten letters. Mostly bills or other stuff for my parents.

When I just found the letter from school I saw Bonnie walking towards me with a bright smile on her face and an exactly same looking envelope like I had in her had.

'' Hi Lena, are you awake now?''

'' Hi Bonnie, sorry for earlier, but you know I hate mornings.''

I hugged her tight.

'' So did you open it yet?''

I shook my head.

'' No, I just found it the very second. Let's go inside.''

After going inside we were both a bit nervous. What if we didn't have any course together. We both felt a bit uncomfortable and so we decided to have breakfast first, which in our case was just some chocopops with milk.

'' I think it's time. How about I open mine now and read it out loud and you then tell me if you have the same or not?''

Bonnie nodded opening her envelope again and taking out her time table. I did the same.

'' Okay for the first period I have advanced math.''

'' Elena, I'm not that good in math and you know it. I have Spanish. In the second period I have History and you?''

It took us 15 more minutes to find out that we only had P.E. and Literature together. We were both a bit disappointed, but I tried to lighten the mood.

'' We just have to make it both into the team, okay? Promise me Bonnie we will both make it.''

'' I pinky promise.''

Saturday, 03/12/2012, 9:47 pm, boarding school

'' Elena, hurry!''

'' I don't have anything to wear.''

I felt defeated and pouted at her. She was standing there in her blue dress and I was standing here still in my underwear.

'' Elena, you have like 100 dresses, just pick one so I can do your hair and make up. I don't want to get there to late and I know that you're not able to do it yourself, so please.''

I rolled my eyes at her and looked back into my closet. She was right, I had a lot dresses. I just didn't feel like wearing one of those.

'' Caroline, please help me. I cannot go in my underwear.''

She smirked.

'' I think the guys would like it.''

I rolled my eyes at her again. This time annoyed.

Despite that Caroline came over and looked into my closet.

'' No, no, no, no.'' She looked through my dresses and then stopped.

'' This one!''

She picked out a dress I had made about two weeks ago. It was black, had a wide neckholder and was really tight at the top. Around the waist it loosened a bit, but not much. It was one of the shortest dresses I had and had a zipper at the front.

I loved the dress, but I didn't feel confident enough to wear it.

'' Caroline I don't know. Don't you think it's a bit too short?''

'' Elena, have you seen your legs lately? Or your whole body? You can wear everything. So please just take it on and then I'll can do my part.

I did as I was told and then she did my hair and make-up, when I noticed I didn't have any shoes on.

I looked back into my closet and immediately found my favorite 6 inch high heel ankle boots.

Then I looked in the mirror. I had to admit I looked stunning. The dress showed all my curves perfectly and my legs looked amazingly long in the heels and the dress.

Caroline had done an amazing job. The make up was light and she had just emphasized my eyes. My long, brown hair was in a messy ponytail. It looked as it was made without thinking about it but still fitted the dress perfectly. Caroline really knew what she did. Having make up and hair design in school really helped.

'' Thank you Care.'' I smiled.

'' You're welcome, but can we finally go now please?''

I nodded, took my purse and we went to Damon's house.

_I'm so sorry there isn't any Damon in this chapter, but I felt like I needed just this. And also the next chapter will be full of him and his party. I'm not sure if I should write more about Bonnie, I want to make her part of the story but I somehow don't like her, so I'm really not sure._

_I'm sick at the moment, and if I'm unlucky you get lucky. Because when I'm not better till Monday I won't be able to go to school, so I'd have a lot time to write. But I really hope I feel better then._

_I hope you all have a great weekend._

_R&R as always._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	17. Chapter 17- This Song saved my Life

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_I'm soooooo sorry. I konw it's been a while, but I was like busier than busy. I was still sick, but not so sick I could stay home. But I was exhausted in the evenings and didn' have the energy to write then. I also had 3 job interviews, which means I missed 3 days of school and had to revise it all at home and do all the homework. And if that wasn't enough my brother and my friend moved at the same weekend and I helped both of them. So I hope you're not too disappointed in me._

_But I'm glad I found time to write now and I really hope you'll like the chapter._

**Chapter 17- This Song saved my Life**

**I wanna start by letting you know this  
Because of you my life has a purpose  
You helped me be who I am today  
I see myself in every word you say**

**[…]**

**You're my escape when I'm stuck in this small town  
I turn you up whenever I feel down  
You let me know like no one else  
that it's okay to be myself**

**- Simple Plan This Song saved my Life**

Saturday, 03/12/2012, 11:40 pm, Damon's house

I loved the party. The music was great and I loved dancing. And since Damon somehow managed to convince the guys to tell the truth, I still didn't know home as Damon didn't want to tell me, they all treated me well. They asked me to dance or if I liked something to drink, but didn't expect anything for it.

The only thing I was sad about was that I hadn't seen Damon yet. I already missed him after a few hours, but he didn't know and probably didn't really miss me. So I didn't want to let that ruin my night.

I was just dancing with Care and Kat to one of our favorite songs and sang along the lyrics.

_'' So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_ ''

After we cried out the final words Caroline and Katherine were exhausted.

'' Lena, I think I need something to drink.'' Katherine had a red face and breathed rapidly.

'' And I definitely need a break.'' Caroline added.

I wasn't exhausted at all. I felt like I could dance the whole night and still go running afterwards.

'' Okay then do that. I'm staying on the dancefloor.'' I smiled at them with a big smile and they smiled back and walked towards the kitchen, where the drinks were situated.

I concentrated on the music again and recognized the song that was currently playing. It was a fast song so I started to dance along, swinging my hips. I was glad I had chosen that dress, because I could perfectly dance in it.

I was so into the music that I didn't realize it when the song changed. I was still in the middle of the dancefloor, dancing alone, eyes closed.

I only got out of my trance when I felt to hands on my hips, holding me from behind. Before I could turn around to see who was standing there, I felt his chest touching my back. My whole body shivered at the touch. I then knew exactly who it was. When I then felt his breath in my neck I felt like my legs would give in any second. But fortunately they didn't. So I just continued dancing, enjoying his closeness.

He moved along with me perfectly. His hands, still on my hips, felt like they were touching my whole body. When I couldn't take it anymore, I turned around. Our eyes locked for a second. His blue meeting my brown. He smiled at me and I felt my knees getting even weaker.

I threw my arms around his neck. I told myself it was for support, because I still thought my knees would give in, but who was I kidding? I just wanted to be even closer to him. His hands didn't leave my hips for a second, and I was glad for that.

We danced even closer together, our whole bodies touching. I'm not sure if it was me who pressed myself against him or if it were his arms trying to get me closer. The only thing I was sure about was that I liked it. No not liked. Loved. I didn't want to think about the reasons for his or my behaving. I just wanted to enjoy the moment with him.

We were still dancing fast when the song changed. The next one was slow, so I placed my head on his chest. His hands wandered upwards and encircled my waist. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to just never let go of him.

Captured in the moment I paid more attention to the song that was playing.

_Home, reflections of eyes shine bright in my mind,_

_Remind me I long to be cold and feel alive,_

_For that s what inspires me_

_Home, to be free, just to breathe,_

_Only seen in the eyes that know me_

_Home, like a dream out of reach,_

_I can t see through the film that clouds it_

_Memories fade to dust,_

_Slowly losing touch_

I didn't know the song, but I decided that I liked it. It would from now on always be our song, if he knew it or not, because in that exact moment I was sure that I loved him. It was the first time I just let it be us. The world around us was forgotten. I could hear his heart beating in his chest and I wished that it was beating for me and I imagined what could be.

_To belong is the feeling I want,_

_Is it wrong to miss the time that we had?_

_Now it s gone_

_Didn' t plan for this,_

She sang about the past, but all I could think about was the future, what I wanted it to be. But how it probably never would be. But a girl could dream, couldn't she?

As I listened for the last part of the song, I looked up and met his eyes staring at me. He looked as happy as I felt and I desperately wanted to kiss him, but what if he didn't kiss me back? Everything would change between us than, and I didn't want that. But what if he kissed me back?

I stopped in my movements and he stopped to. The song was still playing, but we were just standing there. Watching each other.

_I m grateful for the chance, that it s mine,_

_So I ll cherish every second of time_

_To belong is the feeling I want,_

_Is it wrong to miss the time that we had?_

_Now it s gone_

_Didn t plan for this,_

_Home is where my heart is_

_It s the feeling I want,_

_Is it wrong to miss the time that we had?_

_Now it s gone_

_Didn t plan for this,_

_Home is where my heart is_

_Didn t plan for this,_

_Home is where my heart is _

Damn she was right. Home is where my heart is and in that moment home was exactly in front of me, not knowing about it.

As the song was finished I didn't know what to to, so I stared at the ground.

'' Elena.'' He sighed. It was the first word he had said the whole night and it sounded like the most beautiful melody in my ears. I looked up again, just to see something in his eyes I didn't quite understand. No one had ever looked at me like that and then he leaned closer. My eyes wandered to his lips and I waited in anticipation, not moving an inch. His lips nearly touched mine, when I felt a hand on my arm pulling me away.

'' Lena, this is our song!'' Rose shouted in my ear with excitement. Then I listened closer to the music.

_Yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I'll tell you what I want what I really really want _

I was fast excited myself. We once danced to that song in practice just to loosen up a bit. Now I saw that all cheerleaders were on the dancefloor, dancing to the song. I glanced back to Damon, giving him an apologizing look and joined my team mates. We probably looked ridiculous out there, but that was the goal. Just to have fun dancing.

_Yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh_

_I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ahhh _

When the song ended we all giggled and the grouphugged. We hadn't have that much fun in a while.

The rest of the evening I spent dancing and chatting with the girls.

Tuesday, 29/06/2004 10:34 am, Everglades

This was amazing. I've never seen that kind of animals before. Only in zoos maybe. And here I could see them all. Yesterday there were flamingos. I loved them. I mean, what is not to love about them. They are pink and they make funny noises. So yeah I liked the flamingos.

'' Mommy, when are we there?'' Jeremy asked for the seventh time. We were driving for some minutes to finally see the manatees. My dad had shown us some pictures and I thought they looked kinda ugly, but my Mom said they were her favorite animals so we decided to see them.

'' We're nearly there Jer. How about we play a game? How about I spy with my little eye?''

'' Yeeeeees!'' Jeremy and I both creamed in unison. We loved that game. There was always something new to find and it was always fun.

'' Okay so I think your Mom should start.'' My Dad smiled at my Mom, she nodded and looked around. Then she turned around to us and said:

'' I spy with my little eye, something beginning with s.''

'' The sun.'' She shook her head.

'' The SUV in front of us?''

'' The shorts Dad is wearing?''

She always shook her head. Neither Jeremy nor I found out what it was and we've already played for 5 minutes.

'' Maybe we can't find out because we can't see it anymore. I think we passed it five minutes ago.''

I was a bit angry. I really wanted to know what it was. And I hated loosing, not that I would show it.

'' No sweetie. You still can see it.''

Jeremy looked determined to find out. He looked at my Mom, trying to pout.

'' Mommy, can you give us a hint?''

He was adorable when he looked like that. I knew why he got everything he wanted. You just couldn't deny him anything, when he looked at you like that.

'' Of course I can, Jer. Okay let me think... It's really large.''

'' But Mom, I've already asked if it was the sun.'' I was really angry now. We played for minutes and I've already had the right thing.

'' Elena, I told you it is not the sun, but I give you another hint. It's blue.''

Okay something large and blue. What could it be? I turned around to see Jeremy's eyes lightening up.

'' I know it, Mom, I know it. It's the sky.''

'' Yes it is.''

Jeremy was so happy that he got it right. He had a bright smile on his face and giggled. He even high fived me.

I was glad he won. I loved seeing him happy like that.

'' Okay, then it's your turn now Jer.'' My Dad stated.

We played until we arrived at the manatee station and my Mom squeezed when see saw her favorite animals.

_Songs I used in this chapter:_

_Wake me up- Avicii_

_Home- Birdy_

_Wannabe- Spice Girls_

_So I made it right before TVD. I'm sooooo happy it's back. It feels like my life has the life in it back, if you know what I mean. And all these Delena spoilers we got, I don't know if I'm going to survive it._

_Again I'm so sorry for my belated update. I try to publish the next chapter sooner again._

_Thank you all for sticking with me and everything._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	18. Chapter 18- Impossible

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_I'm back :) I promised you it would be sooner and this time I really made it. So here it is, chapter 18!_

**Chapter 18- Impossible**

**I remember years ago  
Someone told me I should take  
Caution when it comes to love  
I did**

**And you were strong and I was not  
My illusion, my mistake  
I was careless, I forgot**

**All we had is gone now**

**Tell them I was happy  
And my heart is broken  
All my scars are open  
Tell them what I hoped would be  
Impossible, impossible  
Impossible, impossible**

**- James Arthur Impossible**

Sunday, 04/12/2012, 1:32 pm, cafeteria

Okay, I was starving. I had slept so well last night that my alarm couldn't wake me up this morning so that I missed breakfast. And I hadn't really eaten much yesterday, so yeah.

I was nearly alone in the cafeteria. Normally there weren't a lot of people here on Sundays, or if they came, they would come a lot later. But like I said, I was starving. So I got my mac'n'cheese and sat down at the table. I thought about what I could or better should do today. I had a dress to finish for design and I had to do some corrections to our literature project. The project I did with Damon. Damon. And so easily my mind wandered back to the dance yesterday. It had done that all night and the whole morning. I just couldn't stop thinking about the dance. The way I felt when he touched me. It wasn't even that intimate but my body shivered when I only thought about it. It had never felt that way with one of the guys before.

I've already known before that I loved him, but to feel that there's also such a strong physical attraction between us, that was just something else. Something much deeper, like an invisible bond. And for the first time in a long time that fact didn't scare me. The only thing I was scared about was that Damon didn't feel that bond. That he didn't want me. I wasn't that illusional anymore. I knew that he was attracted to me. The nearly kisses and the dance showed that. I was just scared that his feelings weren't equally strong as mine. And because of that I didn't know what to do. Should I do the first move? Should I wait for him to do something?

In times like that I really missed my Mom. She would know what to do. Or at least she would know the words to make me find out what I should do on my own. She always had the right words. And not only that I wanted to talk to her about Damon, but also because it was December.

That meant Christmas was near and so Christmas holidays. Everyone was going home to celebrate with their families. Okay I was also going home and I also celebrated with my family, but it wasn't my whole family. Three people were missing. The three people I wanted to be there the most. It was the first Christmas without them and I didn't know what I should do.

I wasn't even in the mood for celebrating. We always had our little traditions. The blueberry pancakes in the morning, our matching Christmas themed Pjs, the Christmas tree we always decorated together with decoration Jeremy and I had made when we were younger and now, all of this was gone.

When I looked down at my plate again, I wasn't hungry anymore, so I tidied up my table and went back to my room. Caroline was out doing something with Stefan, so I had the room all to myself.

I was already thinking about my parents so I decided I could also go further back on the memory lane. I went to my closet and took out the box that was hidden in the last corner of it. It was the only box I hadn't opened after I came here. I don't think my aunt or cousin knew I had packed that box.

It was full of photo albums. When I opened the box I took out my favorite one. It was from the year when we went to Florida. We were all happy that time and Jeremy looked so cute as a six year old. I looked even somehow cute myself, with my ponytail with the pink ribbon, something Bonnie and I loved to do. When I looked at the photo on the first page a tear slipped down my cheek. It showed the for of us in front of the manatee station. My Mom pointed to a manatee sign, my brother was still happy about the game we had played, my Dad was tousling his hair and laying his other arm around my Mom and I was standing next to Jer, sticking out my tongue to the camera. We were standing there trying to get a good photo for our Christmas card, but somehow the camera took the photo and saved me this moment.

I went on looking through the pages. From time to time another tear escaped my eyes.

Tuesday, 18/10/2012, 6:50 pm, gym

'' Okay I planned something special today. It's what I think what we need at the moment, so no choreography learning today. Today we're gonna have fun!''

Rebekah seemed excited about today's practice. I might be too if she would finally tell us what she had planned. But no, she was just sitting there in front of the CD player, trying to start the music. But before we could here a sound she got up again and looked at us.

'' So what I have planned for us today is that. We need to loosen up a bit. I think we all know how the choreography works, but we are to concentrated on doing it perfectly. What we should be rather doing is just loosening ourselves in the music. And that's what we're gonna do today. I brought one song and we're going to listen to this one song the whole practice. You are going to dance to this song. You can dance however you want. Like little children, like you were on a dancefloor or even waltz. I don't care. I just want you to dance, to have fun and to listen to the music. I'm going to watch you from time to time. Maybe I find some good moves we can use in a choreography, but most of the time I'm just going to dance too. Okay?''

She didn't even wait for our response. She turned back to the CD player.

I loved the task. That was what I liked the most about cheerleading, the actual dancing. Okay I also like ´d to cheer and everything, but the dance part was my favorite. So I was standing there, waiting for the music to start.

'' I think you all know the song. At least I hope so. It would be a shame not to.'' And with that Bekah started the music. We all waited patiently for the first notes. When I heard the first sound I recognized the song and started to dance. I loved this song and not only because they danced to it in my favorite show.

When you could hear the voices singing, some of the other squeezed. I think now all of them knew the song.

_Yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh_

_I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ahhh_

It was my favorite song by The Spice Girls. It could always lighten up my mood. And I danced just like that. Like there were no sorrows, nothing bad in the whole world. I just dance like there was only me and the music. Nothing else.

_If you want my future forget my past_

_if you wanna get with me better make it fast_

_now don't go wasting my precious time_

_get your act together we could be just fine_

Now I danced together with Care, just like little children. We holt our hands and jumped around in circles, not caring how we looked, just having fun. We didn't just dance like children, we were children again, just for a little moment.

_I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh_

_I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ahhh_

I even tried breakdance at one point. I think I failed miserably, but at least it was fun. I tried some moves I've seen in the music videos Jeremy used to watch, but there were more difficult than I had thought.

_If you wanna be my lover you gotta get with my friends_

_make it last forever friendship never ends_

_if you wanna be my lover you have got to give_

_taking is too easy but that's the way it is_

_Oh what you think about that now you know how I feel_

_say you could handle my love are you for real_

_I won't be hasty I'll give you a try_

_if you really bug me then I'll say goodbye_

In the end I even did some of the ballet moves I'd learned when I was little and my Mom begged me to go to a ballet studio. I could still do a perfect pirouette. And I didn't even feel sick after it.

_Yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want_

_so tell me what you want what you really really want_

_I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh I wanna huh_

_I wanna really really really wanna zig-a-zig ahhh_

Practice was finished way to soon. I could have danced hours more. But basketball was now.

All of us were happy and we're giggled and just couldn't stop smiling.

Just when I was about to go to the changing rooms I heard Rebekah shouting my name. I turned around and walked over to her.

'' You wanted to talk?''

'' Yes Elena. I just wanted to tell you that you do great. Especially today you were amazing. You had so many ideas and I really love that ballet you did. Maybe you can help me put some of it in our next choreography?''

I nodded. I was extremely proud she wanted me to help her. She was still the captain and already a senior.

Now being even happier than before I walked to the changing rooms.

Friday, 02/09/2012, 11:47 pm, boarding school

I couldn't sleep. It was impossible for me. I thought coming here was a good idea the evening, but now I was certain it wasn't. Since after I had gotten home from the hospital I either slept in my parent's bedroom or Jeremy's and now here sleeping just felt wrong.n The sheets smelled wrong, the mattress felt wrong and it certainly was the wrong room. I knew sleep wouldn't come here.

I looked over to the other bed and was Caroline sleeping. She didn't know how lucky she was for being able to sleep so easily. I envied her.

Because I knew sleep wouldn't come I got up and got myself a glass of water. Maybe it would help a bit so that I could at least relax somehow. But it didn't.

Maybe some music would help me sleep. So I looked through my stuff to get my Ipod. I turned it on and went back to bed. I switched through the albums until I sound what I was looking for. Birdy. But although I listened to Farewell and Goodnight for about 20 times, I didn't feel any closer to sleep. So I turned around to my nightstand. There was the only picture of Mom, Dad and Jer I had already packed out. I wasn't planning to increase the number. I was trying to be someone new here and my past would help me with that, but still I needed some part of them to be with me.

I took the frame with the picture in my hands and looked at it. It was from a trip we took some time in February or March. We were in some kind of museum. It was more modern art, but Jeremy begged my parents to go there and so we did. Then he asked a stranger to take a photo in front of his favorite picture. I didn't know the name of the drawing anymore, but what I liked about the picture was that we all were standing there together all happy and just looking normal. It was one of the things I missed the most. Just being a normal family. Not having to ask your teacher for more time for filling out something, because you had to ask your aunt and your cousin first. Or just sitting in the living room together, watching a movie.

Clearly I also missed my parents and Jeremy.

The longest time I've been away from them before had been two weeks, when I took part in an exchange program and had been in Canada. And now? It's nearly been three months. And I missed them more than anything in the world. I would give everything just to see them again, but I knew it was impossible. I looked at the photo again, my thumb stroking over it and a tear slipping down my cheek.

And then I remembered something I've done when I was smaller. Whenever I was sad or afraid or mad at my parents or just I don't know what, I'd taken my blanket and went into my parents closet to sleep there. And that was what I did right now. Okay I couldn't go into their closet, but I hoped this closet would be good enough, too. So I took my blanket, the picture and got into the closet. When I lay down I saw the Teddy Jeremy gave me for my 16 birthday. I hadn't have the time to pack him out properly, but that didn't matter now. I took the bear and got under my blanket.

I then whispered to the photo '' I love you'' and closed my eyes. And then, finally, I fell asleep.

_Okay so I used the song again:  
Wannabe- Spice Girls_

_I know that's maybe not wat you expected. But I just felt the need to write this. I sometimes think her parents and Jer aren't present enough. Only in flashbacks so yeah. And I wanted also something fun in the chapter beside all the sadness about Elena's family and I thought that the dance was the perfect solution._

_I know there is nearly no Delena in it, but don't worry, next chapter is full of it again. I have two possibilities in my mind what I could write, bith Delena, but not sure yet._

_Thank you again for the reviews, support and just reading. It means everything to me._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	19. Chapter 19 - Hero

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Sorry, I know it's been so long again. Buut I had a concussion and wasn't able to write. I'm glad I can again. But then I was also busy with school ( I had 3 exams last week) and life isn't easy. But still I really hope you like the chapter. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 19- Hero**

**Everyone deserves a chance to  
Walk with everyone else**

**While holding down**  
**A job to keep my girl around**  
**And maybe buy me some new strings**  
**And her and I out on the weekends**

**And we can whisper things**  
**Secrets from my America dreams**  
**Baby needs some protection**

_**-**_**Family of the Year Hero**

Tuesday, 06/12/2012, 12:13 pm, literature class

I still didn't know what to do about Damon. The last two days we just acted like nothing had happened at all, but still there was something awkward between us. Some kind of tension, no one other then the two of us could recognize. And yes, I didn't know what to do about it.

I had worried my mind about it for the last days and just couldn't find a solution. Maybe I should ask Caroline. I mean, she was together with Stefan now, so maybe she would know what to do. But I should probably wait a bit with that.

Okay that was a plan. If I still didn't know what to do on Saturday, I would ask Caroline for advice. That meant four more days for me to make it on my own. Okay, I really had to think about it.

'' Elena, are you still here?''

I was surprised by the question. I had really forgotten that I was still in Literature class.

'' Sorry Damon, so what did you say?''

Okay now I remembered. It was because of me sitting next to Damon that I couldn't concentrate on our project. Every time I looked at him, the dance was in my mind again. But now I had to think straight again. Okay Elena, you can do it. Just concentrate on literature.

'' I was saying that I think our project is as good as possible and that we shouldn't change anything about it. We just have to hand it in on Friday and then we are done with it.''

Did he mean he was done with me too? Or just the project? Or what? I was officially confused now.

But before I could think about it any more the announcement bell was ringing and then you could hear Principal Lockwood.

'' Attention everyone. I am really sorry that I have to tell you this, but the roof of the main gym is leaking. Therefore all activities in it today are cancelled. That includes basketball, boys and girls, volleyball girls, and the cheerleading A-team. We are taking care of the problem and hope that it will be fixed soon. All the affected pupils are supposed to look in the intranet. We will announce it there, if there will be class possible in the gym tomorrow again or if maybe you can use a different gym. Thank you for your attention.''

'' Wow, that means we have the day off.'' Damon looked at me. I couldn't tell what he wanted to tell me with that.

'' Yeah I guess so.''

Damon smirked. Now he looked happy. But I was still clueless.

'' Okay, so I was thinking that we should celebrate that we are finished with the project. And I wanted to ask you when we would continue watching One Tree Hill. I thought about Saturday, but hey, why not today, I mean we have time now.''

Oh, that was what he wanted to tell me. But I didn't know what I wanted to answer. Yes, I wanted to spend time with him, but things were awkward and I didn't know what to do about it. You know what, ignore the awkwardness.

'' Yeah, sounds great. When do you want me to come? And should I bring something to eat?''

'' Cool, how about 5 pm. And I can cook, so what's your favorite food?''

WHAT? He wanted to cook for me? How sweet was that?

'' Ehm... Waffles, but I don't think we should eat them for dinner. So why don't you just surprise me?''

'' Okay I will. But I promise I will make you waffles someday.''

He grinned at me. And I smiled back. This evening should be fun.

Tuesday, 06/12/2012, 5:02 pm, Damon's house

I was nervous. Again. I didn't really know how to act around Damon anymore. And so it was awkward. But I wanted to be near him and because of that I had to find a way.

So I knocked at the door. And I waited and waited.

After a long time, or at least it felt like a long time, Damon opened the door, wearing an blue-white checkered apron and with something smeared in his face.

I tried not to laugh but I failed miserably. So I started to giggle.

'' Yeah, hi to you too Elena.''

Damon tried to sound annoyed, but his smile gave him away. I still couldn't stop laughing, but at least I somehow greeted him. If he understood it.

'' Okay, Elena, please enlighten me. What is so funny? I know for sure it can't be my apron, because I'm sure girls love men who can cook, and my apron shows that. And I think I look really handsome in it. So what is it then?''

I then looked at him more carefully. And he was right. He did look handsome and the apron did make him look sexy. But I wouldn't tell him that. But despite that, I still couldn't stop laughing, because of this something in his face.

'' Damon...it's just that... There is something... In your... Face.''

It took me long to get it out, because of my giggles. And I think he didn't understand, because now he just looked confused.

Instead of trying to repeat it again, I just raised my hand to his face and used my thumb to wipe it away. He looked surprised by my action, but then I showed him my thumb with the light brown something on it and his face lightened when he figured out what just had happened.

'' Okay Damon, would you care to explain me what this is?''

I tried to stay serious and challenge him a bit. But staying serious was really hard and so a smile was on my face.

'' Mhh.. I think it's cake dough.''

I smiled even brighter back at me now. And then I had an idea. A crazy and impulsive idea, but I didn't care about that at the moment.

'' You think? So you are not absolutely sure?''

He shook his head, playing along. I think he wanted to know what I wanted to get with that.

'' Mhhh... Then I think I have an idea how you can be absolutely sure.''

I smirked and put my thumb to his lips. He immediately knew what I wanted and opened his mouth. He then licked the cake dough from my thumb and closed his lips around it. And then I was the one that was surprised by his action. He started to suck at my finger. My whole body started to shiver. I couldn't think straight anymore. I was just overtaken by my feelings and how much I wanted him right now. In my mind we were already half naked and in the living room and not still standing in the doorway, him licking my thumb. But the sensation was just too much to bare. So I looked down I tried to see his face. And when I saw his eyes I saw such an admiration and lust. And I wanted nothing more then to finally kiss him and tear his clothed apart.

We just started at each other for a few seconds.

And then the kitchen alarm went on.

Damon let go of my thumb and looked at me somehow... I had no idea how he looked.

'' The cake is ready.''

And with that we went into the house, saved by the alarm. Yeah, saved, who the hell was I kidding. We were disturbed by the alarm.

Tuesday, 06/12/2012, 6:02 pm, Damon's house

Oh my gosh. The food was delicious. I mean like heavenly delicious. I think I've never eaten something that tasted that well. And I didn't even know that Damon could cook at all and then that.

We had a Caesar salad for appetizer. After that we had some fantastic raviolis in mushroom sauce. I think I hadn't eaten that much in a long time. And now I felt like my stomach would explode any second, but Damon was just in the kitchen to get the chocolate cake and some vanilla ice cream. I was absolutely sure I would explode after that, but I didn't care. It was too delicious.

The whole dinner was fabulous. We talked about this and that and we laughed. Like a lot. He told me the funniest stories about some of his team mates or about teachers.

He also told me some stories of when he was a child. We also agreed about that Stefan and Caroline looked so cute together.

We only avoided one topic. Us.

I thought about bringing it up, but we had so much fun, that I didn't want to destroy that. Even with the dance and the thumb licking in my mind, I didn't bring it up.

Maybe this was just what we needed to clear things up between us. One night full of fun. Or maybe more than one, but just fun.

Then I heard Damon calling from the kitchen.

'' Hey Elena, can you already put the DVD in? I think we can eat while watching.''

'' Yeah okay.''

I walked into the living room and went to the TV. Okay.. Which episode did we last watched. It was the end of season one, but which episode.

'' Damon, which episode did we last watch?''

'' I think we watched the 21st episode.''

I looked at the description of the episode. Yeah, we had really watched that one the last time.

And the next one was the season final.

'' Damon, this one is the season finale.''

'' Really?''

He sounded excited. I think he liked the show.

''Yeah.''

'' Okay, I'm nearly done here. By the way, do you want sprinkles on your ice cream?''

'' Yes please.''

A moment later he came into the room with two bowls of ice cream and a delicious, still warm chocolate cake.

We watched and ate in silence for a bit.

We were about twenty minutes into the episode when my bowl of vanilla ice was empty.

I looked over and saw Damon still eating his and I started to pout.

'' How can you still have that much ice cream left. I mean you always eat much faster than I do?''

Damon giggled lightly and then smirked.

'' Maybe I just had more ice cream that you had.''

I stared at him in shock. Was he kidding? About ice cream?

'' Damon that is unfair.''

He giggled at my pouting.

'' Elena, if you want more, just get some in the kitchen.''

'' But I don't want to get up. You know what? Just give me yours!''

No I smirked at him.

'' No way. That's mine.''

He played shocked, but I could still see his smile.

'' But Elena, maybe, if you are really nice I could share with you.''

'' Damon, you know I am always nice.''

I looked at him with puppy eyes and winked at him.

'' Okay I'm convinced.''

I just wanted to take my spoon, when I saw his spoon full of ice near my mouth. I opened it and ate the delicious, cold food. Maybe I also moaned a little bit. But just a little.

Damon than continued to feed him and me alternately.

_Okay, so I announced there would be some awesome Delena in that chapter, like the dance or something and I really planned it. But when I wrote there was so much more in my head and the evening got longer and longer and so I decided to part it in two chapters. So in this one is a bit of Delena. ( I hope you liked the dough scene and the ice cream sharing ;) ), but the next chapter is, at least in parts, also about their 'date' or whatever you want to call it. ;)_

_About the last episode of TVD, do I have to say more than ''You are my life''?_

_I really love how D and E act around each other. It looks so naturally. And I really hate the doppelganger bond and also this Tessa ( I think it's easier to write it ;)). And when Stefan couldn't remember Damon and Elena, I felt so sorry for all of them._

_So enough about that. I try to write a bit more now._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	20. Chapter 20- On Top of the World

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Chapter 20. Yes actaully wrote 20 chapters. Thank you to all of you that stocked from the beginning and also everyone that reads. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 20- On Top of the World**

**If you love somebody  
Better tell them while they're here 'cause  
They may just run away from you**

**[…]**

**And I know it's hard when you're falling down  
And it's a long way up when you hit the ground  
Get up now, get up, get up now.**

**'Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay**  
**I'm on top of the world, 'ay**  
**Waiting on this for a while now**  
**Paying my dues to the dirt**  
**I've been waiting to smile, 'ay**  
**Been holding it in for a while, 'ay**  
**Take it with me if I can**  
**Been dreaming of this since a child**  
**I'm on top of the world.**

**- Imagine Dragons On Top of the World**

**Tuesday, 06/12/2012, 7:14 pm, Da**mon's house

'' Wow, they really just got married.''

Damon was stunned. We just finished the episode in which Haley and Nathan got married.

'' I know, they are not even 18, but they're perfect together, so why wait?''

'' Yeah I know what you mean. I just really didn't expect it to happen.''

I turned around to look at him. I didn't expect him to answer like that. I didn't expect any guy to answer like that. Normally they thought marrying with 18 was a mistake or a joke or something else.

So I faced him.

'' Would you do it? I mean getting married with 18? Or even younger?''

I stared into his deep, blue eyes, waiting for an answer.

'' I wouldn't get married under 18. I just think that's too young. But you were right, why wait if you are absolutely sure that she or he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? So to answer your question, if I'm certain I found the right one, I will propose, no matter if I'm 18 or 63.''

He had a bright smile on his face and seemed proud of his answer. And I fell more in love with him in that moment. How could he be more perfect? He sounded so absolutely certain about it that you just had to see that he was telling the truth.

I was just sitting there in silence in complete awe of his answer.

'' So Elena, how do you feel about getting married that young?''

And I didn't expect him to ask that. Of course I had thought about my wedding. I mean I still am a female. And I was sure that I wanted to be young when it happened.

'' Hmm... I think for me it's harder to answer that. It is normal that the man proposes, so even if I wanted to get married with 18 or 19, it wouldn't really be in my power. I had to wait until someone proposed to me.''

That was the truth. I wanted my future husband to propose to me, not the other way around. I was still traditional in that case. So I didn't really get the chance to decide when to get married.

Damon on the other hand didn't look satisfied by my answer. He furrowed his brows, as if he was thinking about what I had just said. And even doing that, he looked stunning. Yep, I think I was finally getting mad over not being able to touch his perfect face. And I really wanted to know if his hair was as soft as I assumed. Or if his abs...

Damon brought me back from my thoughts.

'' Okay, but what if someone would ask you when you are 18? What would you say?''

I didn't really have to think about it.

'' I guess than it's the say for me as it is for you. If I love him and if I'm sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him and have a family with him, then I would of course say yes.''

Now I was the one smiling from ear to ear. I just had this beautiful wedding dress in mind. Hopefully I would remember it later so that I could draw it.

Then I looked back to Damon, he smirked satisfied. But then his eyes grew somehow wider.

'' You are already thinking about having a family?''

Ah that was what bothered him.

'' Yes I do, family was always important to me and after I lost my parents and Jer, I don't take it for granted anymore. So having a family when I'm older is a thing I won't miss.''

I smiled at him shyly, not knowing what he would think about it.

'' Yeah I guess having children looking up to you would be great.''

He smiled back at me as if to tell me he got what I wanted to tell. And with his words I believed he really did.

And then my mind played tricks on me again. I imagined a mini Damon on my arm and a mini me on his.

I definitely had to do something about our situation before I would go insane for good.

Tuesday, 25/12/2008, 7:31 am, my room

It was so unfair. Why was I just not allowed to get up now? I hated that my parents set the rule not to get up before 8 am at Christmas. That was just so cruel. And I couldn't sleep anymore. What was I supposed to do now?

I looked around my room, thinking of something I could do. Mhh.. There was really nothing I wanted to do. Then I thought of something. I could write a story. I looked around for a notebook and a pen. I took an extra beautiful one, so maybe writing would be easier then.

So the pink one with the flowers on it would be perfect.

Now I just needed something to write. Okay I loved butterflies and princesses, so I could write about a butterfly princess.

I sat at my table and started writing. How longer I wrote the easier it got. I wrote and wrote and didn't even notice how the time went by.

Only when Jeremy came into my room, I was brought back from my fantasy world.

'' Lena, I want to open the presents, please, please.''

He was so cute.

'' Of course Jer, just a second.''

I put away my notebook and got up.

Then I took his hand and we went downstairs. On our way I saw his PJ's. There were the exact copy of mine, only that his were black and mine purple.

That brought a smile on my face.

Downstairs our parents already waited. When they saw us their smiles grew wider.

'' There are my little babies.''

My Mom smiled at us brightly.

'' No, Mommy, I'm not a Baby anymore.'' My brother pouted at her.

Before he could say anything more my Dad interrupted.

'' No Jeremy, you are certainly not. So how about the to of you open your presents now?''

We both agreed immediately.

I've never seen Jeremy more happy. My parents got him a Playstation. The first thing he did was ask my Dad to put it at the TV so that I, yes he took me, could play with him.

I got like a dozen new clothes and like a million new books, I had wanted so badly. And the best present, I got tickets for a NY Knicks game.

Tuesday, 06/12/2012, 10:01 pm, Damon's house

I was laying there on the couch, my head laying in Damon's lap. I had no idea how it had gotten there, but it was just too comfortable to move. And Damon's hands stroking through my hair didn't motivate me to move either.

And I was nearly falling asleep, only because it was so perfect and comfortable. I just closed my eyes when I felt Damon's hand caressing my cheek.

'' Elena?'', his voice was just a whisper. I didn't know if he wanted me to hear him or not, but I just turned my head around to face him.

When I saw his face I just had to smile. He just looked beyond perfect in that moment. He looked also half asleep, but still like I don't know what. It was just the way he was looking at me, I couldn't even describe it.

'' Yes Damon?'', I finally answered, not sure what else to do.

He stroked my cheek again, smiling a bit and then saying '' i just wanted to make sure that you are still awake, because it's already after 10 pm.''

My smile disappeared. I knew what that meant. I had to go back soon and what a surprise, I didn't want to at the moment. Damon immediately recognized it.

'' Hey, Gilbert. Where did your smile go?'' He tried to cheer me up.

I smiled a little. I loved how he always wanted to see me happy.

'' I just didn't think it was that late. I don't want to go.''

I admitted shyly, not looking at him anymore. I really avoided to look at him, when I felt his thumb under my chin.

'' Elena, that's no reason to be sad. You can come back tomorrow, if practice is still cancelled. But only if you want to.''

There was a glimmer of hope in his voice. It sounded so beautiful that I just couldn't deny him anything in that moment. And who was I kidding, I wanted to come back tomorrow.

So I just nodded. When I saw the happiness covering his face, I immediately felt even better.

But then I left the comfort of his lap and got up.

'' I think that I should get going.''

Now that I knew that I would see him again tomorrow I didn't fell that sad about leaving anymore.

''Okay.''

Damon got up as well, taking the rest of our dishes into the kitchen, while I packed all of my stuff into my purse and went to get my jacket. We met again at the door and he helped my into my jacket, like the gentleman he was.

I turned back to look at him, not sure what to do.

'' Thank you Damon. I loved spending time with you and I have to admit the dinner was delicious.''

He smirked at my comment.

'' Did you really think I would offer to make you dinner if I wasn't able to cook you a proper meal?''

Then I was the one laughing. He could always to that to me.

'' If you say it like that then, no, I wouldn't think that.''

Now Damon also laughed. When I stopped laughing, he lifted his arm and caressed my cheek again, like he had before in the living room.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment.

I opened my eyes again, when he said '' Good night Elena. I hope you'll have sweet dreams.''

'' Good night Damon.''

But despite our farewells, we both didn't move one inch further apart. I even felt myself being pulled closer to him. When we were only inches apart I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, like always. When I just moved my lips closer to his, I freaked out.

I couldn't do that now. It would change everything and I wasn't ready for that, was I?

No I think I couldn't. I was too scared of the consequences. So instead of kissing him on the lips, I turned my head and kissed his cheek.

Then I turned around, waved one last time and walked away.

And I immediately regretted my decision not to kiss him. Why couldn't I just have done it? I mean, Damon was the only thing I could think about, so yeah, I really fucked up.

_I don't have that much to say this time. There was no episode of TVD yet. (It's in 2 ½ hours but I have to sleep now.)_

_I have vacation next week, so I might be able to wrote a bit more. _

_I'm not telling what will happen next chapter, because that always changes while writing, and I don't want to disappoint you._

_Thank you for reviewing._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


	21. Chapter 21- Things we lost in the Fire

_Disclaimer: I do not own the rights for the characters. I thank L. J. Smith for creating this beautiful books, Julie Plec for creating the show and TheCW for showing it._

_Chapter 21 ;) I made it. Hope you like it :D_

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Things we lost in the Fire**

**We sat and made a list  
Of all the things that we had  
Down the backs of table tops  
Ticket stubs and your diaries**

**I read them all one day**  
**When loneliness came and you were away**  
**Oh they told me nothing new,**  
**But I love to read the words you used**

**These are the things, the things we lost**  
**The things we lost in the fire fire fire**  
**These are the things, the things we lost**  
**The things we lost in the fire fire fire**

**- Bastille Things we lost in the Fire**

* * *

Wednesday, 07/12/2012, 6:37 am, my room

Shit, I hadn't slept well after screwing up yesterday. I couldn't stop thinking about my stupidity not to kiss him. I had had no reason to freak out. I couldn't think about anything besides Damon and it would drive me crazy if I didn't at least try. I couldn't live that longer without trying.

Maybe I could fix it today, when I'll go to his house again. But wait, that wasn't sure yet. Maybe I had cheerleading again, or he had basketball?

I needed to figure that out first before I started to plan anything.

So the first thing I did, after I had gotten up, was to check the intranet on my phone for any news. Gosh, the wifi was so slow today. I waited patiently and after some minutes, yeah it was really that slow, I finally had the site open.

I checked the news:

_The main gym is still out of order._

Yes, that meant Damon-time. But then I read further.

_Fortunately we could manage to move all activities, which are normally in it, into other locations._

_Cheerleading practice A-team will be in the smaller dancing gym at the usual time._

_Volleyball will take place in gym C, also at the usual time._

_Basketball girls will be in gym D, from 7 pm to 8:15 pm._

_Basketball boys will also be located in gym D from 8:15 pm to 9:30 pm._

_This plan will be effective until further notice._

_Thank you._

No, no, no. Did I mention? No.

I wanted to spend the day with Damon. Not have cheerleading.

Okay, I loved cheerleading and I wanted to have practice, but why couldn't I do both? Why had life to be so cruel sometimes?

I had really planned on talking with Damon today, but now I could forget that. I didn't want to do it in public and other than that I wouldn't see him today, or even the rest of the week.

What should I do now?

Just when I wanted to start planning something new, my phone beeped.

I had a new message:

**From Damon**:_ Did you check the intranet?_

I immediately responded.

**To Damon**: _Yeah... Looks like our plans for tonight are cancelled :/_

**From Damon**: _Yes, looks like it ;/ Damn, I was really looking forward to watching OTH with you._

**To Damon**: _Yeah, me too. But at least I know what's going to happen ;D_

**From Damon**: _Oh you are mean.:P Promise we continue as soon as possible!_

**To Damon**: _Promise._

**From Damon**: _Pinky promise?_

**To Damon**: _Yeah, pinky promise :D_

I chuckled about that. Sometimes he could be just like a little child. No one else would pinky promise. When I just wanted to go to the bathroom to get ready my phone beeped a last time.

**From Damon**: _Good, see you later beautiful :D_

What was that? Beautiful? He never called me that before. Why was he writing that now? I was officially confused. But before I could think about it any more, Care woke up and I had to hurry to get into the bathroom before her. Otherwise I would never get the chance to go in there for at least the next hour.

* * *

Friday, 09/12/2012, 11:45 pm, my room

Okay, the rest of the week hadn't gone well either.

First of all, I couldn't spend one single moment alone with Damon.

Secondly, I still didn't sleep any better.

And maybe the worst point, I became insecure about talking to Damon. Just that damn time I spent with thinking about the possible consequences, which mostly scared me to death. Okay I had to admit, some of the scenarios in my head were also good. Who was I kidding, some were actually perfect and I wanted nothing more than for one of them to become real. Nut unfortunately the bad scenarios dominated.

And I didn't want to loose Damon. Of that I was sure. So what should I do?

Then I remembered the plan I had at the beginning of the week. To ask Caroline. Okay, I said I would ask her on Saturday, but why not now? I mean the sooner the better, right?

I turned around in my bed, now facing hers.

'' Care, are you awake?'', I whispered, not sure if she was or if I should wake her.

'' Mhh, not really why?'' I heard her mumble back. Okay maybe her half asleep was not the best way to start. But I was afraid if I backed away now I wouldn't find the courage to talk to her again. Okay now not the best time, later no courage, what a dilemma. But wait.

'' I just wanted to ask, if you have time for some girl talk and relaxing tomorrow?''

'' You already had me with girl talk, so I'm in.''

I smiled brightly, but then realized she couldn't see me in the darkness, so I spoke:

'' Thank you Care. Good Night, sleep tight.''

I heard a laughter and the she said.

'' Yeah, see you later, alligator.''

I tried to not laugh to loud, while Care went back to sleep.

So that was set now. And I was sure, now that it was set, I would tell her about it. And as far as I knew, Care always gave good advices, so I was positive that my problem would be solved by tomorrow. Okay maybe just technically, because I would most likely not see Damon tomorrow. So I was sure my problem would theoretically be solved and it would be me who had to solve it practically.

The only problem about my plan was, that the problem wasn't solved now, so I didn't even hope for sleep right now.

I just tried to imagine a possible, positive future with Damon.

After I had the pictures of Damon and me kissing, than of us dancing at our prom together, and then of me walking down an aisle in a white dress with Damon standing at the end of it in my head, I fell asleep, imagining mini raven-haired children running around me.

* * *

Saturday, 10/12/2012, 9:48 pm, my room

We started girl-time right after lunch. Now at nearly 10 pm I still hadn't talked about my feelings for Damon.

But instead of that I've learned a lot about Caroline and Stefan's relationship in the past hours. And if I say a lot I also mean a lot. Most of it I didn't even want to know, but some parts were also so sweet. They got together last Saturday at Damon's party and now they were nearly inseparable. I was lucky that Stefan was at Damon's today, because of some video games with Damon and some others of the team.

Okay, I think Caroline would have still hung out with me, if that wasn't the case, but I just loved to annoy her.

At the moment, we were waiting for our nail polish to dry, while eating some ice cream and talking about, who would have guessed, still Stefan.

'' He is just so sweet and romantic. I just have to love him.''

After she said that she gasped in shock, her hand flying to her mouth. My eyes widened. The whole evening she hadn't once used the L-word. I wasn't sure how to react.

'' Do you? I mean love him?'' I asked. I think at that moment she wasn't sure about it. She just looked at me stunned.

'' I'm not sure. There is definitely something between us. And I'm not the girl who goes around kissing and making out with random guys, no offence.''

She smiled at me because of her last comment and I had to chuckle a bit. I mean that was my life a bit more than two weeks ago, so yeah a lot had changed for me.

'' None taken. But you didn't answer my question.''

'' I think I love him.'' I furrowed a brow.

'' You think?''

'' Yes, I mean I'm just seventeen. I don't know anything about life. So I don't know if this feeling I have is really love, but it feels like it.''

About that I had to smile. I was proud of her that she admitted her feelings. But I could also identify with her at the moment.

'' If you feel that it is love, than it is. So I am so happy for you.''

I just had to hug her at the moment.

When I leaned back she looked a bit angry.

'' Okay Elena, I really was patient, but you wanted to have girltalk, but you always avoided talking today. So what is it you wanted to talk about?''

She just knew me too good. She was so right, maybe I avoided talking about me at all today. I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe and then sighed.

'' Damon.''

With that word Caroline's face lightened. She let out some far to high pitch.

'' OMG Elena, what happened, did you finally kiss?'' She just blurted out.

With that comment my eyes opened a bit, not sure how to react emotionally.

'' No we didn't. Nothing happened. That's what I wanted to talk about with you. I'm not sure what to do.''

It was not as hard for me to admit it as I had thought. Maybe because of what Caroline had just told me about her and Stefan.

'' Okay, first of all tell me exactly what happened or not happened and what you feel.''

So first of all I told her about the dance. When I said that we had gotten disturbed by the cheerleading dance, her eyes widened in shock.

'' Holy shit, I'm going to kill Rose. How could she not see that you were nearly kissing?''

I laughed a bit about that, then I continued with the cake-dough-finger-sucking-whatever we had when I went to him.

Caroline let out another high pitched scream.

'' OMG, that is so... I can't describe. And by the way, I'm totally going to use cake dough with Stefan, too.''

Okay, that was too much for me. I broke out into laughter and only stopped when my stomach hurt to much to continue.

'' Okay, you have to stop saying things like that Care, otherwise I'm going to die of laughter some day.''

She tried to look at me angrily, but she started laughing the second she tried.

'' I have to admit, that may have sounded weird, but now, continue!''

So I continued telling her about the rest of the evening and about me freaking out and just kissing his cheek at the end.

''Okay, Lena, now I'm going to have to kill you. How could you not kiss him? It was the perfect moment.''

Now she really looked a bit angry.

'' I don't know. I was just scared for a moment.''

'' Scared about what Elena? Please tell me, I really don't get it.''

Okay she was pissed at me. She just couldn't understand.

'' I'm afraid that he rejects me and that I'm going to loose him then. And I just can't loose him. I've already lost to much this year.''

A tear rolled down my cheek.

'' Oh Elena!''

Caroline sighed and then embraced me. I started to sob a bit in her arms, but after a while I stopped and her arms loosened around me. She pushed my shoulders an arm-length away and then looked me directly into my eyes.

'' I can promise you, you won't loose him. I think the only two people on earth who don't see that you are both in love with each other are the both of you. And I have one question. Could you live without being sure how he feels about you? Can you live with all the what-ifs?''

I thought about it. I probably couldn't so she was right. I had to do something.

'' No I can't, but what should I do?''

'' I think the better question is, what do you want to do?''

I didn't have to think about that long.

'' I want to kiss him.''

I smiled when I said that and Caroline smiled, too.

'' Then just do it.''

With that I jumped up to get my purse, but Caroline stopped me.

'' Ehm.. Elena, maybe not now, it's already after 11 pm. You should wait till tomorrow. I nodded, she had a point with that, so we just continued girls-time a bit more and then went to bed.

Caroline was long asleep by now, but I just couldn't. I was too excited and too nervous to think about sleeping. In my had I had planned already about a hundred times what I would say to him and I always had something to improve.

So when I looked at the clock next to my bed it was 2 am and I wasn't sleepy at all. I just wanted to go over to Damon's and tell him what I felt. And hopefully we would kiss afterwards and...

Do you know what? Screw later and screw sleep, I had to do it now.

So I got up and tiptoed through the room, taking my purse and walking out of the room.

* * *

_What do you think will happen?_

_I hope you are not to angry with me right now, that there was no Delena, but I think you can guess what will happen next, so don't be too cruel to me please._

_So I hope I can write another chapter this week, but I forgot about Halloween, when I told you I had so much time. But we will see ;D_

_So what's your Halloween costume? I'm curious to know. Mine? Who would have guesses, I am going as a vampire :D But because of that I'm missing TVD again :'(_

_Hope you have a good rest of the week._

_Oh and yeah, thank you for reviewing. I'm sorry I didn't reply personally this time, my internet isn't the best at the moment and with my phone it's difficult for me to reply._

_Love PrincessNeens _

_And follow me on twitter if you like my story: PrincessNeens_


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